* Columbine PaintBall MailBag *

Public response has been unexpectedly warm and full of praise!

2002 mail archive
2003 mail archive


From: Michael O’Malley [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, January 01, 2004 5:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Go away….

You guys make me sick… The school shootings should not be marketing gag used by narrow minded dolts like you self.. You guys give paint ball a bad rep and for seriuos players like my self you guys are a huge reason that PB will have a hard time going into the pro sports arena!

You bite…

Michael O’Malley
Captain Team R.T.P.

We have never seen “seriuos” players, we would like to see what they are like. As for Paint Ball going to the professional sports arena, I guess Columbine Paintball has made it! Columbine Paintball is a pro sports arena! We actually make a living off of paint ball. We’re pro.

From: Sush Kelly [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, January 05, 2004 7:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: hmmm is this a joke?

So if this is real its pretty sick… if its a joke its also pretty sick. But I suppose it was inevitable for americans to do this. You really dont have a clue do you? No didnt think so.

“Experience what the innocent students and teachers lived while running for their lives, hunted and without weapons to defend themselves, not knowing when the Trench Coat Mafia will hit.” – harsh..

Im a fan of paintball but the blatent disrespect you show is amazing to me .. you should be closed down ( and given a good beating to boot)


Come give us a beating and close us down. We’ll be waiting with our paintball equipment to kick your ass!

From: Sush Kelly [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, January 05, 2004 7:31 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: what a good scam well done…

what a waste you are .. to society.. .. if you actually had a link saying disclaimer then i could appreciate you giving people stick. Having a hidden one is hardly impressive, being that its hidden it would not count in a legal eye so youd probably be looking at some time in the county jail.. where hopefully youd be pummelled into small pieces.

What exactly are you chuffed about? What is funny about your site? or indeed your replies to peoples emails? I know americans are less intelligent than most.. but come on guys.

We get pummeled everyday! That’s what happens when you come plain Columbine Paintball!

From: SASCHA QUIRNBACH [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, January 05, 2004 6:50 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Your Site


we have now seen your Site in Germany.

I have seen tonight Bowling for Columbine

I think this Site have an very Interested Aspect.

Mfg sq
Supported by und Pro Toyz und ZAP Paint, ,Alex Tattoo shop,TC Nürtingen.

Here we don’t bowl for Columbine, we paint ball for Columbine.

From: Mark Roberts [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, January 05, 2004 9:41 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Address

Are you in Denver?  What is your address?  I can’t find you.

Mark Roberts

[email protected]

We had the wild idea of putting up our address in plain view on our main page. I guess we have hidden it quite well. It’s OK though. We’ll find YOU.

From: Dan Williams [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:01 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: :-)
funny site, dark, but funny.
We’ll try to use brighter colors.

From: Sascha Thau [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:57 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: columbine paintball

this can’t be real…

It’s real! Come play!

From: rob [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, January 08, 2004 10:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Rockin’

I see your mail mostly consists of hatred and ignorance.

I praise you for your wonderful service, but I wonder if my praise e-mail will ever see the light of day, as I seem to have spelled every word right up to this point and my grammar is at least intelligible.

God bless this wonderful example of all that is great in America. I just wish Wyoming had anything else to offer to make me go there (Yellowstone doesn’t count), and I also wish you would open a similar facility in Virginia.

Your #2 Fan


As we have more and more satisfied customers, it may be a possibility in the future.

From: josh zuckerman [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, January 09, 2004 5:23 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: business
Hi my name is josh and i started a paintball business a while back and now im starting a new one so i was hopeing that u can send a sample,and i alsow need a supplyer.   Thankyou for your time hope to hear from you soon bye.
Your contacts for you first business are not good for your new business?

From: Wes Riesmeyer [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, January 12, 2004 10:44 PM
To: [email protected]

Have some fucking respect…..

We respect you if you are too chicken to try on Columbine Paintball.

From: Chris Jackson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2004 2:36 PM
To:[email protected]
Subject: Other ideas

Well, while you are at it you might want to think about these other sernarios:


The Mathew Shepard Experience – You are in Wyoming after all

The Susan Smith Hide and Seek Experience

The Shandra Levy Scuba Diving Class


Just tot name a few!  Good Luck!


Chris J.

All your ideas are taken into consideration.

From: Nicholas S. Garcia [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2004 2:36 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Paintball

My name is Nicholas S. Garcia. I’m the editor-in-chief of a Pueblo South High School’s Round-Up. I am also the anchor for our daily closed circuit tv show. We came across your website and we’d like to do a story on your program.

Please e-mail me and let me know what possiblities there are to come up.


Nicholas S. Garcia
The S Is For Enthusiasm!

Everything is possible at Columbine Paintball! -Team S Paint (S is for Wonderful!)

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2004 3:34 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: this is sick

you all are twisted and psychopathic freaks. Who in the world do you think you are trying to relive a tragedy to make a profit for yourselves. you all are sick. How about next time you just go ahead and make a game out of 9/11. In normal Americans eyes you are nothing but low life Canadian scum. you can get a hold of me at [email protected]

We enjoy hallucinogens, but we are not psychopathic. We appreciate your concern for our health! The 9/11 scenario has been suggested many times plans are in the works to make it happen… AGAIN!

From: Angela Anderson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2004 3:10 AM
To: [email protected]
What’s funny about Columbine?  Didn’t make you SAD?  Didn’t scare you?  According to you if I believe the site is an ad for an actual business I’m gullible.  If I find it disturbing, I’m humorless.  What do you think of me if I just find it incredibly sad?  We may have movies about Pearl Harbor, Titanic, the and Holocaust that qualify as historical fiction, but we don’t have theme parks.  Why do you want to hurt people this way?  Please reconsider what you’ re doing.
We have reconsidered and we feel Columbine Paintball in nowhere near these movies to reach their level of sadness.

From: Aaron Pennington [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 9:19 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: comment
What the fuck do you guys think you are doing?  Whose idea was it to start some kind of crap like this?  Columbine paintball?  What the fuck is wrong with your damn heads?  Are you retarded?  You guys are a disgrace to pain tball and to the rest of the world.  Jackasses.
A bunch of paint ball lovers started this. We are not retarded, it demands great dedication, planning and effort to make this kind of facility run.

From: P Byrne [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 1:45 PM
To: [email protected]

You guys obviously have too much time on your hands. Freedom of speech and all that, but this is seriously pushing it. Make money however you want, but I find this offensive. I know that as I write this you will make some joke about it on your petty website. but the idea that you would do this is not of rational thought. Paintball or not, this is a recreation of murder and hate. But play it all you want.
But what goes around comes around. And I have a feeling a lawsuit is coming your way. Someone has red flagged this site…
Please tell us why our facility would be targeted by a lawsuit? We would not begin to understand how a lawsuit would be warranted. We have fun at our facility! Surely nothing is illegal in having fun!

From: Andrew Whiteoak [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 5:11 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Your Product

To whom it may concern,

i was searching for websites on the columbine high school shooting as part of a campaign in the name of Arms Control. i happened upon your website and it made me physically sick. I hope none of the victims’ families see your site, it will make them feel even more sick than it made me.

I have emailed the film-maker Michael Moore regarding your site, I hope he mentions you and your site in his newsletter, spreading the word of your sick little company.

“paintball in remembrance”

Andrew Whiteoak

We have already beat you to emailing Michael Moore, loser. We hope he mentions us also, the publicity would be awesome!

From: Kathy Bruce [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, January 29, 2004 9:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: sick fucks

hey you demented fuckers are going to hell. so when your there and have to suck hitlers cock remember that sick fucking idea you assholes came up with.
have a nice fucking day you faggots.

Hey, thanks! A good day to you too!

From: Nick Tosto [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2004 6:57 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: This makes me sick…

How could you do that to make money? Are your business ethics that low? I personally find this a horid thing to do to make money.

Not a fan,

We don’t. We’re making loads!

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2004 12:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: horrible
How can you guys make a scenario like this? Its a big slap in the face to the parents and friends of those who died in this tragic event.  You should be ashamed…exploiting something like this just to make a buck…
We just don’t want to make a buck. We want to make loads, which is what we are doing. It’s just awesome.

From: Dustin Orchard [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2004 5:52 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: idiots
who ever made that field is an idiot. why did they have to re-create such a horrible SCHOOL shooting to let people remember the tragic day??? so stupid
We did it because we love paint ball.

From: Jody Barton [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2004 9:11 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: My heartfelt praise for your endeavour. Honestly.
Dear People of the Columbine Paintball Project,
I love the idea of your recreational facility. It seems however, that some of your friendly neighbourhood Americans are not so enamoured.  Your critics do themselves no favours by being able neither to spell, or punctuate correctly. Typing without thinking seems to be your critics’ preferred method of communication. Best wishes, keep speaking and acting freely.
Jody Barton
I love Dave’s comments about American Indians and Yankees…
From: Dave Mundane [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 1-Sep-03 02:32
To: [email protected]
Subject: Fuck off all idiots who hate Columbine Paintball!
This is fucking awesome.  I cannot believe how stupid people are criticizing this site.  They probably wouldn’t give a fuck if you recreated battles between American Indians and Yankees.  Cool idea…if me and my friend ever get to Wyoming, we’re playing as H&K (Harris & Klebold)…fuck yeah, but are we gonna have to shoot ourselves with our paintball markers in the library at the end of the game?
We love our work.

From: Lyndon Darrah [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2004 11:21 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: You guys rock
Now personally being a Canadian, and a rather evil canadian at that I think this site is MUCHAS FUCKING HILLARIOUS! For the first minute i saw this i was like YES! Where is this place, can i be the mafia? how many innocents can i shoot? Then i real ized it was a political parody and loved it even more.
Now i own a paintball store and as such i must say that i do not condone such random acts of violence, and sites like this that put down the sport of paintball. Unofficially however i think you guys did a great job.
People worry too much about the past, its better to focus on the present, so what some kids died, take the shooters out back & off them, clean up a bit and get back to your dull little insignificant lives. And 9/11 boo fucking hoo. Why did nt some engineer in Texas figure out that maybe a plane might one day lose control and crash into a building, how come they didnt plan for this sorta thing. Im sure it crossed their mind but when they thought of putting it down on paper something else c ame up, like anal raping a sheep & drinking watered down beer.
Im glad your giving the Americans the wake up call they need to understand that theyre the worlds little bully, and even bullies get picked on by the little guys once and awhile, a little pain is a small price to pay for the hell theyve created for the rest of the world.
Props to Columbine Paintball, and boo to the Nazi regime that is the USA!!!
Columbine and 9/11 are both cover ups and the media plainly lies to the people to control their mind to do the government’s bidding. The towers were in fact built to withstand an impact from a plane. That is why they used explosives to take down those towers and building 7. No building has ever crumbled from fire. The USA tax payers give their tax money to terrorists that kill their own US citizens.

From: Renaud 742617000027 [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2004 2:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: oh my GOD, YOU EXIST!


To Valhalla we go!

From: John Jackson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2004 5:24 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Good/Bad????
Does this place truly exist? Obviously columbinepaintball has found a different side of paintball. This is identical to the scenario tournament type of paintball. I have played paintball for 6 years now, I tuly feel what columbinepaintball is doing for the sport of paintball is hurting it. Everyday players seeking to play professional paintball, like myself explain to the rest of the world how paintball is not like war, is not dangerous and truly is not about violence. This place you have created hurts OUR side of the sport. There is nothing wrong with what you have created in this sport. Down in Texas we hold scenario tournaments ( paintball events held by acting out specific events in our history such as WW 2 and Vietnam) For everyone out there that is clueless of paintball . Do some research before slamming Columbine  Paintball, check out or these are two  very well respected paintball field in Houston, TX. paintball usa represents one side of paintball, the scenario side. Tanks paintball represents the fast paced tournament level side of paintball.
But to handle these peoples email by acting childish in response to their immaturity level, I dont feel is the best way to handle it. Obviously when this paintball field was created the thoughts of people responces must have been thought out. The only thing I see wrong in this is the way the owner , or person replying to the thoughts of others is the way they are responsding
We disagree, we have more and more paint ball players everyday and business is growing. We are helping the sport of paintball. That is our “responce”.

From: John Jackson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2004 5:30 PM
To: [email protected]
=We absolutely agree that the US government is slapping the US citizens in the face.A

From: Brennen [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2004 5:10 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: hey
You guys cant be serious, that’s just wrong.
We are serious, serious paint ball players.

From: Don [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 6:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: this better be a hoax

IF THIS IS not a Hoax you  guys need serious therapy.

So you’re saying that we put prices online simply for fun? You need therapy.

From: Sean, telus [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 5:24 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: How do I book a group?

I am interested but you guys don’t have a number?Please give me some more info.


Just email us, we will reply when we get a break!

From: Nick Vardy [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, February 07, 2004 12:21 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: You are stupid
wow, you just dont fucking get it… i am a canadian and ashamed to be in any way assosiated with you. People suffered in the shooting and u sturn it into a fucking game. Whats the difference beetween this and ww2 or pearl harbor. I dont know mabey it could be the fact that these were fucking kids going to school and geting shot up. Those people died for their country and somewhat new teh risks of being part of the army. But in no way did these kids and teachers do anything to derserve this. Also the colombine shootings were not 50+ years back.
We “sturned” it into a business, not a game. We feel that people should move on and get over things and be able to honor such events, just like we do at Columbine Paintball.

From: Kurt Weisinger [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, February 07, 2004 12:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: columbine paintball
You know what this makes me think of? That joke of a “game” in the desert where the guys go hunt naked pornstars. Who the hell makes a feild in Wyoming? Thats how people know this is a joke. Canadians aren’t stupid enough to start a paintball scenario like this in Wyoming, they’d be smart and put it somewhere that would attract more buisness, like California, or somewhere like that. But the entire idea of the recreation of Columbine would be the ultimate fetish for some demented scenario players (which scenario players are demented in their own way) and its also a clue to how demented and fucked up you people are. Quit giving paintball a bad name. It recieves enough hatred as it is… maybe ya’ll could have used airsoft guns or SOMETHING…
We have many group bookings of such scenario players that you mention.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2004 10:08 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
I was reasearching the Columbine incident and I came across your site and found it to be totally horrific. I know you constantly respond to other e-mails with your “Well, people like it, so there!” Well, hey, some people like to murder, steal, rape, and whatnot. Does that make it right? Simply because people like doing it? Now, it’s not my place to criticize your business. You wanna make money off of a tragedy, hey, go ahead, Be inhumane. You’ll suffer the consequences eventually. However, I would never want to be involved in any project like this and for the 87% of Americans you claim to have (that’s over 10 million people, by the way), they also will suffer the consequences.
I’m sorry for you and go ahead, respond to this e-mail. Mention how wrong I am, make your sarcastic comments justifying what you do. Guess you can’t take criticism very well, huh?
We feel that you should begin to learn how to read and develop English comprehension. We said that 87% of our customers were American. We have no clue where you got your number of 10 million, but we guess that you did not do enough “reasearch”.

From: mahmoud bsieso [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 12:49 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: hello

I want to be in the mafia iam studant in the university in the first year i study risk mangament and insurance and i dont know how i kill or … but, i love the killer please can you help me

We are not familiar with the “iam studant” mafia that is in the university. We do not know either how you kill. If we find that killer we’ll tell him you love him.

From: Drake felon [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 8:07 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Real? (please reply)
My question is. Well, my dear friend insists the site is fake. Which would make sense, but then again you’re not breaking any laws in the leas and the idea sounds sort of f un in a strange but relatively harmless manner. So my question is, is the whole thing bullshit, or do you really have a facility to host these things? If so, well hell if you’re still open in a few years think I migt want to check it out. The idea is ju st, interesting. Paintball in a classroom, not to mention I thought everyone got a bit too uppity about the whole thing. Life isn’t always pleasant, sometimes, nasty shit happens. Everyone acts like death (the one certain aspect of life, you will die) i s the most horrible thing. God forbid a person does the natural thing of dying, even if their old and it’s their time it’s still a tragedy for many, let alone if they go young or it’s sort of unpleasant. Funny, that reminds me of my friends cancer, I ho pe she ge

A shame its probably fake. It does sound like it’d be rather fun. Besides, it’s not like you’re recreating POW camps, or setting up firing squads so people can know what it was like to be a jewish statistic. Or one of the n azi’s that creating said statistics.

When we look at our finances at the end of the month, we see very interesting statistics.

From: Peter McNichol [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 4:31 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hello
Just thought I’d let you know that you people disgust me. What kind of sick people would want to recreate such an awful tragedy? Absolutely sickening.
That’s just because you haven’t played yet.

From: Zach Rice [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, February 20, 2004 9:01 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Paintball in Schools


I was wondering if I could ask you a question for a school report. What do you think of High School paintball and how it affects the students.

Thank you for your Time,

High School paintball is great! Even better when you can do it in a high school, or a recreation like ours! We have seen that high school paintball provides good exercise and good relaxation. We guarantee very good sleep after a few sessions of Columbine Paintball!

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, February 21, 2004 11:07 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hey whats up bastards?
I dont really care about your paintball thing, i just wanted to call you a bastard. And then i’ll wait for your stupid response, read it, and laugh because your a dumb bastard. And from the looks of it, you have a habit of simply using the same insult against others, so go ahead and call me a bastard cause thats what i called you, get it over with you schumuck. Oh no, 2 insults, what are you gonna do now?! call me both of those names. No of course not, because by now you’ve realized your queer mistakes by reusing other’s insults, and chances are you’ll call me a sick fuck since that seems to be your insult of choice. You Bastard.
Here is our stupid response, and since you want to be called a bastard, well call you a bastard, bastard. We also think that you are a “schumuck”, you “schumuck”.  We feel that you are the one that is reusing other people’s insults. Please read the 2002 and 2003 mail archives, you have provided absolutely nothing original, you bastard.

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 10:20 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: hillarious

Hey guys,

I acually went to columbine and was there durring the shooting and lost some friends, and am an avid painball player. Your site is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen!! The hate mail is the funniest part. Keep it up, and if you really do make a paintball field like this I’ll be there to play!!


Come and play, at least in our facility you won’t lose your friends.

From: Michaell Hellion [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, February 26, 2004 12:56 PM
To: [email protected]


If they came and play, they would get shot up with paint balls.

From: Paul Cantagallo
Sent: Monday, March 01, 2004 4:08 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Inquiry


I’m an editorial assistant at Harper’s Magazine, and I’d really like to speak with someone about your facilities and business. Could a representative of the company please contact me at the phone number listed below? Thanks very much, and I look forward to hearing from you.


Awesome! We’ll get the guys to contact you as soon as the finish up a few games!

From: Paul Cantagallo
Sent: Monday, March 01, 2004 4:25 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: <no subject>

Okay, I’m a sucker. But I’ve had to take crazier shit than this website seriously. Now I’d like to know if the person who runs it would please contact me. I think our magazine would be very interested in publishing a selection of the site’s mail. Also, I ask that you don’t post my contact info on your website, though I have a feeling you do whatever the hell you want.


We would be honored, of course.

From: Shane Bugbee [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 02, 2004 2:29 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: radio interview

Greetings from Chicago.

Cool & Crazy site.
I’d like to talk with you… I’m working on a couple of projects.
1. video re: columbine
2. I do a radio show out of Chicago as well.

This isn’t the typical show… and I all for what your doing, so it’ll befun.

I look forward to hearing from you- thanx for the time- Shane

Please give us more info on your radio show, we would like to listen!

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 8:09 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)


We are trying to make a fun paint ball arena. We are sorry, but paint ball does not show anyone how to blow up anybody or kill innocent people. You should play paint ball before belching out such idiotic statements. But I guess it’s O.K. though to invade Iraq and blow up and kill innocent people for no good reason other than to harvest oil that the U.S.A. doesn’t need. We are very pleasant people, otherwise we would not be in business.

From: Paula Diehl [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 2:11 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: commenting on your comments made to any people commenting on your site
I realize that your business is fake and the only reason I’m commenting on this is because you people are an assholes and you do not do anything except make fun of people. When you are being a smart-ass you should make sure you know what you are talking about before you state something personal and offensive. 
When you were commenting on Cindy’s comments you are historically inaccurate in associating Joseph Stalin’s “Holocaust” in Russia during the The Great Purge and the impact of Collectivization as being apart of World War II. Joseph Stalin and his destruction of his so called “traitors” and “political opponents” was in not in any way associated with World War II. The murder of millions of Russians and Ukrainians was in the time frame of 1932-1938. World War II did not start until 1939, with the invasion of Poland. You should do a little research before saying something stupid. The only argument that you give regarding World War II and Russia is the mistreatment of the soldiers in the Russian army during, and after the battle of Stalingrad in 1942, as well as the suicide squads that were used in killing off more of Stalin’s “political opponents”.
Also when you comment on [email protected]’s forum you ask with a great supercilious tone of writing “Who is nppl?” this shows only arrogance, because as a representative of the competitive paintball community, anyone who would either know anything about the sport of paintball or play the sport for a long period of time would know what the NPPL was, especially someone who would open a paintball field would know what the NPPL was.
It is for the reasons of your nonsensical attitude towards life, and the ability to offend others is nothing more than trifling and subnormal. I know this is not going to convince you of anything, but I hope now you realize (which you will not) that you are not jocular and will never become nothing more than a HTML enthusiast.  I find that people like you are disquieting and problematic. I find that people like you, that find other people’s misfortunes is also very antipathetic. Writing this has been a complete waste of my time, because I know that you will sit and read this and find up ways to make me look like a complete ass of myself and post my stupidity on your worthless website. I do not find your website funny, nor do I find it offensive to myself personally. I find your website totally useless of anyone’s time to create. Your website is also boring and not comical, it just simply stupid and it undermines people in general. Your irrational sense of humor will never be remembered, and least of all you are incompetent.
We are noticing that you have took some time to use your spelling checker, which is appreciated. Please explain to us how we can be “an assholes”, we are trying to understand that one. We thank you very much for pointing out historical facts that many people do not know. We were hoping for someone as attentive as you that would find out these inaccuracies. You are a gem among millions of useless duds. But we know that you did not know these facts before doing some research once you read our mail section, so nice try anyways. However we are puzzled why you use your intellect and knowledge to waste your time when you know you are wasting your time, instead of using your assets towards constructive endeavors that are worthy of your humorless corpse. Let’s go play paint ball guys, it’s much more amusing that reading this boring sap. Paula, come join us, maybe you’ll have some kind of pleasure in your life that you never had.

Buddy thoughts:   Wow… quelle éloquence … This person is intelligent and very articulate…! But there are some flaws , and incoherent train of thought . She knows that she’s wasting her time, but yet she still writes this mail to you, what’s the point?!?!?

From: Jonathan Weeks [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 7:13 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: You got to be kidding me
Become a powerless teacher, an fearful student, a latecomer SWAT operative or an all-mighty Trench Coat Mafia gang member on a rampage, and kill without mercy in a bullet-free environment.”
Are you fucking serious, you are trying to make money off of the tragic events that occured at Columbine High School. You actually want people to re-creat such a thing, after what it has done to so ma ny lives of Americans, and everyone through out the world. Your organization is disgusting, and everyone that supports it are twisted. It’s fucks like you that make this world the mess it is now, I hope your happy you fucking selfish bast ards.
Jonathan Weeks
Yes, we are fucking serious and are making money off the events that occurred at Columbine High School. We always thought that it was the brainless clones such as yourself that do what your corrupt government tells you to do that made this world the mess it is now. Maybe we were way off.

From: JONATHAN VOLPERT [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, March 12, 2004 12:55 PM
To: [email protected]
you people are the most most sadistic people i know… i REALLY want to shake your hand… me and my friends are gonna take a road trip down there play for like a week…were from illinois…heh..anyways…class time >:)
† Go with god my son †
We thought that bombing thousands of innocent people in Iraq was sadistic. Fuck God, he never came to play in our facility. We’re going to paint his ass.

From: AudioTechnica (Lizerd) [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 18, 2004 10:48 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Du Français!
Surprised to see some french there.
Enfin. Je me demande (et tant pis pour les trois quarts de la population planétaire qui ne pourront pas me lire) si vous êtes des Canadiens qui bitchez nos vosins du Sud ou des Américans qui aimeraient briser leur serment qu’ils ont fait à l’école alors qu’ils ne savaient même pas lire.
Anyway. Quite true that people believe anything. The web, like TV, is the wonderland of illusions, only not controlled by big interests.
Keep me posted (discreetly, of course) of other punching sarcastic sites, I’ll surely pay them a visit.
Nous sommes Canadiens et il faut dire que c‘est tellement facile de bitcher nos voisins du sud quand ils gobbent toute la bullshit que leurs médias leur donne. The web is indeed a wonderland of illusions controlled by the people. As always, governments want to control the internet as it wants to control everything and take any power out of the hands of the people that are there only to enrich them.

From: Dale DuPont [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 10:35 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Columbine Paintball?
I appreciate that you have invested a lot of money and effort but i can’t Imagine that naming your field after that tragedy in any way HELPED your marketing efforts.   Please consider a name change.
Consider the number of parents that would NOT let their kid participate in anything resembling an re inactment of that day and call it FUN.
VERY Poor Taste.
Dale Dupont.
All we have to consider are the parents who DO let their kids come play at Columbine Paintball and we love it.

From: CARRIE BROWN [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 8:50 PM
To: [email protected]
You are a residence? That is simply incredible that a residence can send email! We are astounded! We are also amazed that a residence such as yourself has managed to displace herself on a road. We are speechless. Just send us email and your questions will be answered.

From: eric johnson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 22, 2004 5:47 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: columbine floor plans
hey im not sure if this site is a joke or not.. but i am a leader of a rather popular design team that does levels or “maps” or a game called counter-strike and i was wondering if you guys could send me some info on the columbine shooting. Anything like floor plans, guns used, rooms the students started in, ect. what i really need is floor plans for columbine. it would be great because my mapping team is reconstructing the entire school for counter-strike. thanks man.
You can get some maps over here:

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 22, 2004 6:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: This is not right!
What is not appropriate is writing emails in CAPS LOCK. We are sure the parents can agree on that. Everyone is on our ass about this and they go back running with paint ball bruises. If that’s all you have to say, we are disappointed.

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 22, 2004 9:02 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE:
To Whom this May Concern:
I cannot beleive this is a way you want to make money. How would you feel if some rotten no good bastard took your tragedy and did this. You know there is other ways to get your ROCKS OFF. If you are so desgratfull to the USA maybe you need to go some where they except people like you and enjoy  makeing a joke out of innocent kids and adults dieing. Because people I know don’t feel it is funny at all. It is sick. I hope when you are in front of OUR maker that he laughs in your face and sends you and who ever else is in on this straight to hell becaus that is where you need to be. You don’t belong in the USA. Take a look at your children ( if you have any, hope to god you don’t because you ain’t much of a person) and think this could have been them and you could be going through this and see how you would like it.
We make money, believe it. We don’t have a tragedy, so we would not know how to feel. With such terrible spelling, we would not be “A PROUD USA CITIZEN”. We are proud not to be you.

From: jakeandtina [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 23, 2004 9:59 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Way to go!

WOW You dont know how long I have waited to see something of this nature! Me an dmy friends have been discussing an idea of doing a 3way video. Where you can act as one of the three types of people involved! Anyways job well done, and where is your facility am definitely interested visiting your facility. Where are you located and we will come see the magnificent recreation!
Way to go guys and keep up the good work!

Your friend

We thought the address on the main web page was obvious.

From: Greg Stanley [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 23, 2004 4:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Some

I hear you promote/justify how 87% of your customers are Americans and BullS*it like that but what it comes down to is demonic people likeyou who
will jump at an opportunity to make a buck. And sick people who will go along with it.

Canadian, American, whatever…its people like you and your customers that will pay your dues sooner or later.

Make your money, promote your peewee laser tag game. You guys are pathetic and your customers are pathetic as well.

Whatever may our dues be later, we have the cash now.

From: Mark Sherman [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 9:07 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Microchip Implant: Human Race Enslaved!

Hi there i am wondering if you will link to my site if you find it appropriate;
God bless!

“Free men own guns, not slaves”, we love that. We do not believe all this religious crap, but the government is indeed fucking over the people and people do not realize it.

From: Kevin LAND [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 1:04 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: This is interesting…

My name is Kevin Land, I live in Grass Valley, California, and I just heard about your site over the radio and decided to check it out…
At the same time, I have two feelings about your course:
on one hand, I am kind of happy that you guys are “educating” people about what happened there.
on the other hand, I think its atrocious that one of your teams is the innocent students, because some of those “innocent students” were modern-day martyrs (they died for their faith). But I guess it is a necessary step for educating people. So just think about it, overall, I approve of your course (not that you need my approval, or anyone’s for that matter). Well, have a nice day, keep up the good work!
Kevin Land
Grass Valley, Ca
Thank you for you kind words in regards to our hard work. However, nobody died for their faith, they were simply cornered and shot at.

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 1:14 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)

u guys r fucking sick!!! thats wrong & i dont care wat u or ne one else thinks!!!

We are not sick, our doctor says so. Not caring is exactly why the Americans are being enslaved by their government. If you don’t like paint ball, just keep playing volleyball, although we think you should spell “voleybal” correctly if you are to use it in your email address.

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 1:40 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Open one in Sacramento CA so I can play
Soon enough!

From: jake martinez [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 1:44 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: wtf!!

you guys are idiots!! I cant believe that you’d have the nerve to try and make money off a TRAGIC incident. you think people would want to play your little stupid game… but I do play paintball but your a disgrace to the game. how would you feel is I came in your house and shot you in the back of the head while your running in fear…..the media is going to eat you alive.and shit you out

We do not shoot anyone in the back at Columbine Paintball. We do not use lethal equipment as it is only for fun and remembrance. The media tried us and we are the ones that ate them.

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 1:53 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: What the fuck

If this isn’t a joke page, then you guys/girls are going straight to hell. I will pray for mercy from God the almighty for you dip shits.

Thanks for the prayers, we appreciate it.

From: Greg Miraglia [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 10:32 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: This Takes The Cake

I am writing to you as a 22 year veteran member of law enforcement. Although I have already been able to confirm that this website is fake, it is nonetheless one of the most offensive and irresponsible I’ve seen in a long time. There is no humor or other social value in the content of this site other than to demonstrate how people can exploit their First Amendment Rights in a completely repulsive and blatently abusive way.

There is no humor in spelling your English language in a completely repulsive and blatantly abusive way.

From: Michael DeZubiria [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 11:17 AM
To: [email protected]
It is EXACTLY this kind of thoughtless, heartless greed that makes Americans such a target for terrorists around the world. Have you not the slightest shred of thought in your ridiculous heads? Yo u have taken a vicious potshot at the victims of Columbine while at the same time contributing to the mass hatred of America that is increasing in the world. Congratulations, you worthless pieces of shit.
I can only pray that you are among the next people killed.
Go to hell.
We agree that greed makes Americans target for terrorists. Although terrorists have not performed any attacks on American soil, unless we count in the American government, it is bound to happen soon. Keep on praying. Please lead us to hell.

From: Dorothy Maddison [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 2:45 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: May you go to hell
To the sick, capitalistic bastards who created this site and business:
Recently, I visited Ground Zero in Manhattan.  As I attempted to come to grips with the destruction, I was sickened by the people who swarmed around the site and attempted to sell merchandise; pictures, books, and other memorabilia that cashed in on the death and destruction caused by ruthless terorists.
Your business is just as wrong, if not worse.  I’m saddened knowing that people like you exist, with no morals, ethics, or values that allow you to see that some things are sacred.  You may think you are merely providing a service.  But that is just an excuse so that you can make money from the deaths of innocent children and adults.
In three weeks, I join the United States Air Force so that I can provide a true service for anyone in need.  I am disgusted that on your site you even mention our troops and their sacrifice.  Shame on you.
Officer I. Maddison
Fairfield Police Department
Paintball Enthusiast
And here we thought that it was the government that was cashing in on deaths of innocent children and adults in Iraq just to get some oil.

From: Andrew James [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 7:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Feedback
Is this a joke?
No really, Is this a joke?

Are you a joke? No really, are you a joke?

From: adunlavy [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 8:28 PM
To: [email protected]
This is absolutely disgusting.
Our players don’t think so.

From: J P [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 8:47 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Read This!
You people are sick capatilizing on a horrible day in American history. To celebrate this event or recreate it in anyway is sick. These where a bunch of KIDS that where slaughtered in cold blood. Hate the U.S. if you will but to celebrate these chi ldrens death is SICK. I envite you to come on down to my neck of the woods anytime for a nice AMERICAN foot in your ass! Burn in hell Nazis.
When you examine the cover-up at Columbine, it truly was a horrible day in American history. Thousands of Iraqis died from American bombs, yet nobody thinks that is sick. Thanks for you “envitation”, if only we knew what it was, but we suspect that you are just too much of a pussy to come beat us at our own game.

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 10:40 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Just Checking

Wasnt sure if this is real. Would like a phone number to call for more info. Please respond w/ phone number.



From: Caitlin :D [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, March 26, 2004 12:59 AM
To: [email protected]
Who came up with this, you are a damn genius! I drive through Cheyenne every summer, I will definitely stop by!
You guys kick ass! I also have one request, If you could will you please send me a map of your “columbine” So maybe I can study it.
Anyways, Nice job guys!

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, March 26, 2004 4:15 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: what the HELL is wrong with you

Not one person on this earth needs to relive an experience that involves the senseless killing of dozens of loved and dearly-missed children. To exploit such a tragic scene that temporarily paralyzed the American soul is not only unpatriotic, but downright offensive. I do not wish on anyone the pain that those families went through, and I am utterly appalled that anyone could be so heartless as to use this pain in order to turn a profit. I understand that you
are free to do so under your own rights, but this entire idea has no sense for what the American people struggled to overcome.
Oh yeah, “support our troops overseas”? “we love you USA”?
Shut the fuck up! You have no right to even attempt to use these phrases.
For one, if you “loved” the U.S., you would have enough decency and heart not to turn one of the most tragic and heart-numbing scenes in recent U.S. history into a cheap profit. You don’t love or respect the U.S. or it’s people, and saying that you do is the definition of hypocrisy.
Anyone who makes a cent off of this idea should be duct-taped to the goalpoasts of a hockey net and simultaneously tasered while both Jeremy Roenick and Scott Stevens repeatedly fire pucks over 95 mph at their craniums.
Have a nice day and eat a dick,
Still Mourning
P.S.–> when I say eat a dick, I mean both “shame on you” and “go fuck

We object to your comments about cheap profit. We assure you that the profits are not cheap. We suggest that you get over your mourning. Our assessment is that anyone who mourns for 5 years need psychological help.

From: jeff [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, March 27, 2004 9:07 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: the business

Ok, I’m sure after opening up a business like this you have had numerous emails and comments in general of every shape and form. It would not surprise me at all that you found many Americans that would enjoy such a “fantasy setting”. I try desperately not to judge. With that being said, please understand my reason for writing this email. I just don’t understand why? I mean I know the practical reasons….I’m sure its a good money maker, but there are a lot of means to take you to that end. Some of them are legal, some are illegal. I applaud you on one end by choosing a means that is legal, but then you still should be faced with is it moral? I mean running a porno shop is legal too but it carries with it a stigma of sorts.

I think that may be the problem with your type of business. Yes, it’s legal..but it touches upon an issue that 1) Is very hurtful to many people around the world not to mention Americans. and 2) Almost glorifies the situation or at the very least sends a message that the situation isn’t all that serious. It saddens me to think that some kids are coming to your business and actually finding pleasure in being chased by “killers” or would want to “kill” someone themselves in a setting like this.

Now please understand that I do not view paintall as necesssarily bad. I also know that this isn’t much different from a bunch of guys playing in the woods shooting at one another. After all they are doing the same thing that was done in places like Vietnam and the likes. the killing was just as real and tragic there as in Columbine. The difference I feel though is that wars and the like are fought by grown men (at least in our country) for the most part. They have choices to make…some chose to dodge the draft, some chose to fight, some don’t voluntarily sign up anymore, some do it out of love for country. Again I am not saying which (if any) of these choices are right but what I am saying is they involved a moral decision to be made from someone that was able to make a moral decision.

The situation as it appears now is that you are telling kids that the whole thing is a game. That they can “experience” the whole horror of the situation. To that end perhaps you feel you are educating them? But I would ask then are they truly feeling the horror or the desperation of the situation? Should they even want to? Shouldn’t they realize that doing something like this doesn’t make the pain go away, and it doesn’t put them on equal grounds with the families in Columbine? I mean what’s the point?

Are thy going to go out to Columbine and put there arms around someone whose kid was shot and say “I understand…I was killed too”? The kids and adults that lost their lives had real guns pointed at them with real life and death situations thrust at them. Should we really cheapen that by making a buck?

Obviously these are just my opinions. If you wish to respond to them or delete them is for you to decide. I am not trying to stand on a soap box and belittle your choices, nor even imply that I make all the right decisions (God knows I have not). But on your homepage you mention something about supporting the troops and praying for them. Again that is a situation that has come about because people have chosen not to think before they acted. I’m not talking about the U.S.A necessarily. I fully support our efforts over there. The horror that some of them people face everyday is just like the horror that some highschool kids in Columbine faced for a few hours in one day. But then why are we trying to stop it over there and then trying to relive it over here? Playing paintball does help one prepare for real life situations like war, it can help in hiding, strategizing, recon, etc. But again we don’t have a draft anymore, so the people who are choosing to fight for our countries freedom, are choosing to do this based on an educated moral decision. The kids and adults that come to your business for the most part are doing so because of the fascination we all had while it was being broadcast on TV. They aren’t doing it because they are trying to bring some right in the world, or because they want to help out the victims in Columbine.

I didn’t write this email either with the thought that it would change your mind. Nor did I write it to talk down to you. When you mention “pray”, it tells me that you acknowledge a higher power. I would only hope that you pray a litle more about the message that you are sending to some people and then listen to what the Spirit tells you. After all we can read in the book of Romans, where Paul is addressing someone that has made an argument that because of free will and particular freedoms that everything is permissable.he starts off by saying “Everything is permissable…but not everything is beneficial….”. Your business is certainly permittable, but not necessarily beneficial.

Perhaps I’ve missed something?
I’m just one person in America who wants what I’m sure you want and that is to live happy and not hurt anybody. Like you I acknowledge God and I am told not to judge, but I am also instructed that when I see something that may not be honoring Him, I should bring it to the light. I hope you understand that my comments are made with no malice at all…just concern.

I thank you if you’ve made it all the way to here. And for letting me
express some concerns.

J. B.

We are sorry to say that you should get ready, the draft is coming back, and this time will target people skilled in computers and languages. We do not acknowledge God, when we say “pray for our troops” it does not mean anything to us. What does mean something to us is that there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, no more dictatorship unless you consider American presence there, and yet American soldiers keep on dying when the job is done and when they should come back home.

From: Bruce Gallaher [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2004 4:59 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: reply
Dear Managers,
Just curious… in stumbling on to your website, did you ever think of what the families who were directly affected by the real columbine massacre would feel about making a game out of their pain?
Bruce in Vacaville
Please do not stumble! Pick yourself up!

From: Pasquale Cantrell [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: None
To: [email protected]
Subject: nautical.


Nautical Stepchild. How about Windy Sausage?

From: michael setser [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 10:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: this is some funny shit
this is some kool shit ..
Thanks! You are “kool” too!

1 comment to Funny Mail Archive 2004

  • […] Funny Mail Archive 2004 « Columbine PaintballWhat exactly are you chuffed about? What is funny about your site? or indeed your replies to peoples emails? I know americans are less intelligent than most.. but come on guys. … I praise you for your wonderful service, but I wonder if my praise e-mail will ever see the light of day, as I seem to have spelled every… […]