2003 funny mail

* Columbine PaintBall MailBag *

Public response has been unexpectedly warm and full of praise!

You are reading the 2003 mail archive


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 16-Feb-03 23:45
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page

lol verey funny


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 26-Feb-03 22:07
To: [email protected]
Subject: Congratulations!

Congratulations! ur going to hell

Congratulations! you are an idiot!


From: Elizabeth Truong [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 26-Feb-03 22:06
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page
you are going to hell
You are not the first to tell us this and nobody tells us how and when and with who and it never happened, so we’re not really believing it.


From: charles leblanc [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 7-Mar-03 15:25
To: [email protected]
Subject: nice site



Holy shit I was never one to complain but you guys are fuckin sick I cant belive that you can sleep at night .Did you ever think of the familys that
were invoved in this shcool shooting you clowns need some fuckin help bunch of fuckin sicko’s . I hate the idea of puting a paintball field out of
busness but I am going to do everything to give you guys a bad name .

This is just one of the many e-mails that will be sent to you guys on this subject .

you are all fuckin sick

chucky

We wouldn’t really know about your complaining, but you’re complaining NOW because you are concerned about our health and how we sleep at night? We DID think of the families involved and this site is not for them and we are not trying to have them come over and play. You can try to put us out of business all you want, we fucking dare you. We have the paintball equipment to hold off a SWAT invasion, so we’re fine. We didn’t see any more of your e-mails you talk about. We’re not sick, but thanks for your concern.


From: Yves LeBlanc [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 7-Mar-03 15:32
To: [email protected]
Subject: Are you guys for real??



What the hell are you trying to do here!

Are you guys really serious….taking a tragedy like the Columbine Shooting and making it a paintball field! Thanks a lot for helping out the paintball players out there who are trying to make this sport legitimate, and get rid of the discrimination this sport gets a daily basis.

Being a paintball player playing tourneys and rec ball…I am totally disgusted at this. At first I though this was a joke…then I went to your pathetic website!

For fuck sakes did you ever stop and think of the families and the friends of the people that got killed! you idiots! You guys are making money off one of the biggest tragedies ever to happen in the education system! What the fuck are you going to do next re-create 9/11, you fucking morons!

Anyways this is all I’m going to write for now, for I am extremely disgusted to think that someone in their right mind ( I use this term loosely on your terms…) would do such a thing.

This comes from your website!

“We care about customer satisfaction and we have the means to make sure that every Columbine PaintBall experience is a pleasant one.”

How the fuck can this be a “Pleasant” experience!

Think of the famillies and friends that lost someone!

I am disguted at this!

I hope this business of yours doesn’t last to long….matter of fact hope it fails in the near future..

Y. LeBlanc

We are for real. Apparently the web site is not pathetic, some people enjoy it very much. Actually we have the funding and we are building a couple of towers and a mock-up Pentagon near the Columbine Paintball facility since an overwhelming demand for a 9/11 recreation has been felt. It’s going to be up sometime, please be patient. As for the money, the tragedy has served us well and we are fucking raking it in! I think you are just jealous that you didn’t think of the business idea before we did, loser. As for the pleasant experience, apparently tons of people enjoy playing the scenario. So far the business has been running for 2 years and the cash ain’t slowing down boy! We are sorry if you are “disguted”, we really did not intend to dis-gut you, that’s fucking sickening.


From: stu [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Apr-03 23:16
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page
YOU ARE A BUNCH OF SICK FUCKS.
We are not understanding this overwhelming concern for our health, but it’s very appreciated! Thank you, it really touches us deeply. Thanks again.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 7-May-03 16:27
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page

I think your ideas is so repulsing. This was a tragedy and your making it a game. Of course Canadian are dumbasses but i would have thought made you’d have a lil more respect for the dead. Do you not have any common sense? Idon’t think it takes a genius to see that your idea is so disrespectful and sickening.

Repulsive or not, the idea fucking works. The Canadians are not any more dumb-asses than the Americans who make up 87% of the population that comes to play the paintball scenario. You should really talk to your American friends about respect for the dead when they come re-enact the shooters and the victims, which is very disrespectful and sickening to their own people. Don’t die of asphyxia dear IIIIAsphyxiaIIII, we still want you to come play with us.


From: Little Brother [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-May-03 17:57
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page
just something to mention – the swat team stood outside for hours without going in,  so to add more realism,  shouldn’t you have a resting room for the swat team,  so they don’t have to stand that long?
The Columbine Experience is carefully researched and greatly detailed to reproduce the events as accurately as possible. Actually we have developed some variations on the “Full Blown Columbine Experience” depending on the groups who pay to have this detailed recreation. Some rare groups prefer to have all the precise timings as they really were and some groups prefer to shorten some delays a bit, cutting down on the suspense factors. These reductions in times are the majority of the cases and are actual requests by the groups once we have laid out the full details of the Experience to them. Once they get a hold of the documentation and go through the briefing of the events, most groups prefer to have a bit more action than suspense, and we gladly grant their requests as to provide them a pleasant experience to their liking. In either case we have some parts of the installation that can be added or removed according to the tastes of the players.


From: justor [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 9-Jul-03 16:33
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page
hey dudes
Hey you! Like, what the fuck….


From: Laura McIntyre [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 10-Jul-03 14:06
To: [email protected]
Subject:
Of course this would be an idea from the Canadians, you sick fucks!
Of course, Americans make up most of our customers, those sick fucks.


From: Mike Liss [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 10-Jul-03 22:17
To: [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page
sick motherfuckers will die painfully
Take some pain killers before you die.


From: Melissa Scott [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 17-Jul-03 15:16
To: [email protected]
Subject:
ummmm if this is real you guys suck………….. if it’s a joke well then it’s KINDA funny but not too funny…….
Melissa
ummmm if you are real, you suck. If you suck I want you on my cock. If you’re a joke then you’re “KINDA” funny, but not too funny….


From: Damakalaka! [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 22-Jul-03 19:22
To: [email protected]
Subject: ……….
LOLOLOloLOLOloloROFLllololOLOlolOLolol!!!1!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 25-Jul-03 14:58
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: I would like to know more about Columbine Paintball joke page



You have got to post the flame mail you get from this page!!! Hilarious!

You mean like THIS page?   :)


From: Evans Prater [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 28-Jul-03 22:29
To: [email protected]
Subject: Awesome!
I think the Columbine paintball thing is really freakin awesome! While not totally politically correct, it’s very original and sounds like something exciting to do! I’ll be coming as soon as I get enough money for a trip to Wyoming!
We are still finishing up on the move to the States, but we’re fully functional and kicking ass. Bring your friends, make it a road trip!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 3-Aug-03 16:58
To: [email protected]
Subject: hey

you guys need a life

Can we have yours?


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 10-Aug-03 13:43
To: [email protected]
Subject: YOU ARE DISGUSTNG!
Well paintballing DOES leave a nasty mess on the walls. We’ll try to clean up more.


From: Amy King [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 11-Aug-03 15:03
To: [email protected]
Subject: info needed



hi,

I am looking to play paintball with one other person on the Weekend of the 6th and 7th of September. I live in Cheyenne Wyoming. I was Wondering what your rental and use prices range from and Also your Rules and regulations. if you could send this information to my via E-mail or post that would be Great! I looked at your Site, and the Full blown experience sounds perfect. How many ppl would we need to do that?

[email protected] or

Amy King

cheyenne, Wy 82001

thanx, Amy

It seems you live near our place, just come on over and have fun! We always have enough people playing the full blown experience at least once a week.


From: Kaasba [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Aug-03 00:30
To: [email protected]
Subject: Paintball www.kaasbaind.com





Dear Sir,
We are pleased to introduce ourself as a Manufacturers of Gloves.
Such as: In-Line Skater Paintball Pod Packs Body Protecter and Gloves.
We are supplying to our customers all over the Europe and U.S.A market.
In this connection we offering you our products made by our long Experience and skill with competitive prices.
We request you if you are importing these items. please give us a chance to see our ibility to your satisfaction and ask for free samples if you agree to pay its fair. which will be send immediately at your address.
Your own models or sketches most welcom for counter samples.
In the meanwhile we remain and hear from you good news very soon.
Thanking you in advance and regards.
Kashif……(Mr.)
KAASBA GLOVES INDUSTRIES
Boghra, Barkat Street Post Office Fateh Garh,
Sialkot (Pakistan)
Tel: +92 432 255715
Fax: +92 432 559251
mailto:[email protected]
http://www.kaasbaind.com



Send us some stuff! We want the best! Our address is on the main page!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Aug-03 22:19
To: [email protected]
Subject: paintball

i think its fucked up what kind of shit you got running…there are several people traumitized by the situation and you assholes recreate it…what the fuck is going through your heads…do you fucking condone those assholes who took 13 lives not including there own…fuck you

We don’t know what “traumitized” is, so we can’t really recreate it.


From: Joey [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 18-Aug-03 08:56
To: [email protected]
Subject:



OMG D00D HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING, THATS SO INSENSITIVE….wait…disclaimer…hahahaha…hahahaha…ow my side. My friend sent me the link to the site this morning, and he said “I can’t belive they would make something like this” after he had just made a big deal out of the Hunt for Bambi thing less then a month ago, and yet he is still as gulliable as ever. As for myself, I got a great laugh out of it. He sent it, I saw the disclaimer after just a few moments of checking out the site. Maybe you included this and I overlooked it while laughing so hard at my friend and thinking about the other people like him, but you should add things such as “real guest apperences include actual Columbine school shooting survivors helping to give you the actual emotions they went through.” I’d bet you either saw the Benny Hill Tribute to 9/11, or would laugh at it if you saw it. I just hope my friend stays as gulliable so things like this can fool him just as easily.
Looking forward to more gags like this,
Joe
P.S.-
Remember, Benny Hill+anything=funny

We enjoy Benny Hill and all people funny.


From: Dave Mundane [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 1-Sep-03 02:32
To: [email protected]
Subject: Fuck off all idiots who hate Columbine Paintball!
This is fucking awesome.  I cannot believe how stupid people are criticizing this site.  They probably wouldn’t give a fuck if you recreated battles between American Indians and Yankees.  Cool idea…if me and my friend ever get to Wyoming, we’re playing as H&K (Harris & Klebold)…fuck yeah, but are we gonna have to shoot ourselves with our paintball markers in the library at the end of the game?
We have the library, so feel free to shoot yourselves and have a blast!


From: Dustin Edwards [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 5-Sep-03 03:18
To: [email protected]
Subject: THANK YOU



Dudes, is there ANYWAY I can Join your organization. This is the greatest idea EVER, Fucking Columbine students GOT what was coming to them and I’m glad somebody has finally made a joke out of them. I wish I could mow down a classroom full of kids, and NOW I CAN. Please send me more info, I would move to CANANAD for this.

Sincerely

Dustin

Come to our facility and become an intern! We are not sure where CANANAD is or how to get there, but we’d like to see it!


From: jelle cnossen [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 8-Sep-03 10:57
To: [email protected]
Subject:
you sick motherfuckers. dont you assholes know that people like you desurve to die
i wish you wher victims of de shootout.
this world issn’t just a game.
think before you do, the only thing you’re thinking about is money just lik the rest of the motherfucking country called (corrupt) amerika! i hope that every dump american like you wil die by a nuclear attack.
this is send by a 16 year old boy from holland
please contact me!!!!
We are not sick, our health is fine. We are victims of shootouts everyday at our facility, and it’s fun!


From: Brad Stonesifer [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 9-Sep-03 16:56
To: [email protected]
Subject: Only in America…
I would just like to commend you guys on your original yet highly controversial business!  Paintball has always been a passion of mine, and I would like to try out the Columbine scenario once before I turn 40.  Please don’t listen to the naysayers.  Anyone who is offended by this is either an idiot or just a “fuck.”  Most of the people bitching about your company probably do not know how horrible the United States Government really is.   I mean, for Christ’s sake, we sell weapons of mass destruction to other nations!  Look at how Donald Rummsfeld acquired all his wealth… by selling weapons to terrorist nations, or, as it is correctly defined, gun-running.  Also, our c ountry knew 9/11 was going to happen before it did!  (if you would like further details on this, please email me).  So, anyone with the balls to say that your idea is wrong, distrubing, troubling, etc., should just take a look at the coun try they
If  Don could gun-run some paintball markers our way, what would be a nice change.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Sep-03 14:08
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: paintball
i was wondering what your operating hours were? and is their always people
their to play?
We have staff on duty partly composed of interns that run the place 24 hours a day. It’s fucking awesome! Just bring your ass!


From: Brian Martin [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 17-Sep-03 16:04
To: [email protected]
Subject: Columbinepaintball:(
Are you guys for real? Is this game actually taking place? Those are legitimate questions, I think they deserve serious answers. You can give me all the smart ass banter you give everyone else, but at least give me straight up answers.
We think the answers are pretty obvious, we do not consider any answers are in order.


From: Sam and Kris Clark [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 25-Sep-03 19:22
To: [email protected]
Subject: very cool
well, kinda funny also. I know that all these people are pissed off but honestly, im not. I think that there should be some more genres though.
the columbine one is kinda harsh. Mabye a matrix mock up, or something a little ” less politically incorrect”. dont take this as a flame or anything, just an i dea. But, as a student this is slightly fucked up.
thats all
matt
Suggest it, we will build it, and they will come.


From: Matt Wilcher [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Sep-03 23:41
To: [email protected]
Subject: paintball
You people are absolutely disgusting, innocent people DIED in the columbine shootings! recreating the massacre shows no respect to the deceased or the survivors who had to live through such a terrible event. by doing this you are giving the sport of paintball a bad name, i hope your happy.
Matt
We didn’t kill those people, just the players in our facility. We kind of hoped that our recreation was a tribute.


From: Matt Wilcher [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Sep-03 23:50
To: [email protected]
Subject: fake……
I checked out your site a little more after sending and email and I seee now that it is obviously fake. Good idea, it is kinda funny to piss people off. Oh, and your still a sick bastard for even putting this site up on the internet. I should have seen it was fake when I saw the “Palmer Camile” in a picture as a rental marker. There was only one of those in exsistance and it was stolen from glenn a few years back.
Matt
It’s not KINDA funny, it’s REALLY funny. Glenn should come to Columbine Paintball to play again with his Palmer Camile, it will be our pleasure.


From: information [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 1-Oct-03 17:19
To: [email protected]
Subject: Image use without permission



Hello,

Your website is using copywrited images without written permission.

Please remove this image from your site or we will be forced to take action against you.

http://www.columbinepaintball.com/images/weapon.jpg

Thanks

Craig Palmer

Send Payment/Stuff to:
Palmers Pursuit Shop
3951 Development Dr. #3
Sacramento, CA 95838

Phone (916) 923-9676
Fax (916)923-9674

[email protected]
http://www.palmer-pursuit.com/

We do not understand what “copywrited” means, therefore we are unable to help you. However, if you meant “copyrighted”, we seriously doubt it since we assume that if images were in fact copyrighted in your name, you would probably at least know how to spell “copyright”.


From: Unknown News [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 26-Nov-03 16:40
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hilarious!
I’ll have a link up in two minutes, soon as I can stop
laughing.



Thanks!

Helen Highwater
Unknown News

Awesome! We still have room for more players!


From: rieber [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Nov-03 00:18
To: [email protected]
Subject: ya about your field
i think you are all morons for doing this. your giving paintball horrible wrap and hope you run yourself bankrupt you ignorant morons.
You’re wrong about bankruptcy, we are collecting dollars like crazy.


From: Zachary Hansen [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Nov-03 13:35
To: [email protected]
Subject:
You’re an idiot and you need to die. Your attempt at funny paintball like scenario is completely assanine.



Signed,
Zach Hansen

Assaniwha?


From: Jeff [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Nov-03 13:41
To: [email protected]
Subject: You people are sick



I can’t believe you would recreate a shooting in which tons of innocent people were killed. I’m sure its great for the people that have had victims from the shooting see that your training people to do it again. It is disgusting and a horrible representation of the sport of paintball. YOU are the people that make paintball have a bad name. YOU are the people that let people say paintball trains people for killing. YOU are the people that make it so paintball is not on TV. YOU let people that make people think im a crazy nazi for playing paintball. YOU make it so parents wont allow their children to play. YOU are a disgrace to paintball.



Holy fuck! We did not realize that those 13 people were so fat to weigh up to a few tons! Watch what you are saying, you are insulting the parents that drop off their kids at Columbine Paintball to pick them up at the end of the day.


From: Linzie Mason [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Nov-03 14:07
To: [email protected]
Subject:
I must say that you guys are totally sick an fuckin wrong I hope you rot in Hell!
We appreciate the concern for our health, however we assure everybody that we are in good health. Can’t wait to see that Hell thing.. sounds hot.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 27-Nov-03 14:34
To: [email protected]
Subject: WTF!
Id like to say what you guys are doing is Fucked up.  people actually died at columbine and that is fucked up to bring paintball into it.  I play real paintabll not gay paintball that gives nppl a bad name.  having this makes people think paintball is war and it infact is not it is a actual sport and in doing this you make little kids parents not want them to play paintball and you guys are in fact hurting the wounderful sport of paintball.  and get the fuck out of america we dont want u foreigners here!
So Fuck off!!!
We’d like to know where you play “paintabll” so we can discover what is sport unknown to us. Who is “nppl”? Also, we’d like to know what “wounderful” means. Is that like, full of wounds or something? We moved our business to the United States because you wanted our business, so don’t complain now when it’s already done.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 1-Dec-03 17:49
To: [email protected]
Subject: Response to Idea
Dear to whom this may concern,
I believe that I’m not the only one who believes this is wrong. This is sad that you want to reenact this horrible point in history, and with paintball. I don’t care if safety is first, doing it is just plain wrong. I feel sorry for all the people that wasted even a fraction of there lives supporting and building your establishment. I hope that you can see that you are giving paintball a bad name.
Thank You,
John Jacob…
You are believing your beliefs. You are believing lots of things there.


From: David Moye [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 3-Dec-03 10:59
To: [email protected]
Subject: interview request
Howdy!
My name is David Moye and I’m a journalist for Wireless Flash News Service in San Diego. www.flashnews.com
We’re a pop culture news agency with 800 media outlets that specializes in offbeat news. I’d like to do a story about columbinepaintball and would like to do a phone interview with someone connected with the company.



I can be reached at (619) 220-7191 or toll-free at (800) 790-2444.

Thanks for all your help. I’ve never wanted to play paintball before but your website inspires me.

Best regards,

David Moye

From: TeamPaint [mailto:TeamPaint]
Sent: 3-Dec-03 12:33
To: ‘David Moye’
Subject: RE: interview request
We are thrilled and honored! We will arrange something for you!



As a courtesy and good mutual relations exchange, Marketing asks that we would be allowed to publish your story on www.ColumbinePaintball.com when your story comes out on www.FlashNews.com , along with any interview over the phone in an MP3 format that will be published online. Marketing feels that this would be an interesting exchange for both our organizations, to spread the word about Columbine Paintball and Wireless Flash News Service.

We are somewhat unprepared since you are the first to manifest an interview interest in Columbine Paintball and we would like you to present us a general outline of your planned line of questioning so we can prepare some structured response that you would appreciate and to make it worth your while.

If you have a particular deadline you need to respect, please let us know about it so we can oblige in due time. Staff that you will interview are presently on the road for business purposes and we will coordinate this for you according to your schedule.

This has been a quick response, in our exciteemnt we may have forgotten
to ask you other questions, we may do so afterwards if we have any.

Once again, we are thrilled!

Thank you.

TeamPaint
www.ColumbinePaintball.com


From: David Moye [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 3-Dec-03 12:39
To: TeamPaint
Subject: RE: interview request
I just need about ten minutes of time by phone (preferably today). I would just be asking about the idea came about, how popular it’s been,  were you surprised that the U.S. demand has been so high?
Is this a cathartic experience for the players?
How much of a duplicate is your set?
How often do you hold these events?
When is the next one?
Are the police more popular than the trench coat mafia?
Do you plan to offer similar events for other historical events?
My interviews are just like conversations. So, I’m sure we’ll have fun.



I can be reached at (800) 790-2444 and I’d like to do this asap before 3
p.m. PST.

Best regards,

David Moye

From: TeamPaint [mailto:TeamPaint]
Sent: 3-Dec-03 13:37
To: ‘David Moye’
Subject: RE: interview request
Wow, that’s a bit fast if you want this today! :)



We still need to reach the guys that are on the road, which we will do when they report back tonight, brief them a bit on what’s happening, tell them your outline of questions so they can call you tomorrow or when it is convenient for you. Anyone can talk to you, but it would be nice to have the guys responsible for all this to do the interview.

Also we would appreciate confirmation on your part for publishing your story and phone conversation on our site. That way we both look good and send each other some people to our sites. :) Regarding the phone interview, do you usually record your interviews? We simply think that it would be a cool thing to have on the site for people to listen to it. If you record, are you equiped to convert it to send it to us after? It may seem odd, but we would enjoy that very much.

We can’t wait to tell the guys tonight!

Thanks

TeamPaint
www.ColumbinePaintball.com




— And then we never heard of David Moye again.


From: k p [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 5-Dec-03 15:35
To: [email protected]
Subject: Cool Site!

Wow cool site guys!!! Where do i sign up dude? oh also i’m a bit particular about just one detail, can i bring my own weapons….pleeeezzz????!

Cool guys get back to me soon!

We‘ll have to inspect them for safety and fairness, but absolutely!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 5-Dec-03 23:07
To: [email protected]
Subject: your facility
This is a disgrace. That was a national tragedy, and many people suffered because of the events at Columbine. This is not something to make money off of and let people play a game. On the front page it says “Experience what the innocent students and te achers lived while running for their lives, hunted and without weapons to defend themselves, not knowing when the Trench Coat Mafia will hit.” That is the most upsetting thing of all. Non one wants to know what that was like, and there are hundereds o f relatives of the students that lost their lives that day that suffer and grieve about it to this day. The fact you can sleep at night amazes me. This is no way to make money. Doing this is like people recreating the 9/11 terrorist attacks and allow ing people to relive what it would be like to be trapped on one of the floors above the fire. This hurts the name of paintball.



Very angry,

Tyler

Pearl Harbor was a national tragedy, yet they made a movie out of it and made millions. I sure hope you complained to the producers of the movie Pearl Harbor to tell them how you feel on cashing in on a national tragedy, to name only one movie that did so. Apparently people want to how that felt since our facility is jam packed everyday. We have no problem sleeping at night, running this business is very tiresome, yet so much fun. We’ll take your 9/11 suggestion for future projects, we have so many people suggesting this one.


From: Justin Bradley [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 6-Dec-03 19:35
To: [email protected]
Subject: lol
How Canadian.
Thank you! It is true that Canadians can be pretty original!


From: Lorri Stanislav [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 6-Dec-03 21:00
To: [email protected]
Subject: Should Son paintball or not?
I was looking fon line for paintball guns and equipment for a Christmas gift for our 14 year old son.
Your site was so disturbing, we’ve decided this isn’t a sport we want to encourage.
Please tell me it’s a joke. L
Pretty much anything is good if you want to start your kid. If you find our site disturbing you should go to other sites, it will still promote good reflexes and a sharp mind.


From: Rodriguez, Cindy [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 9-Dec-03 15:07
To: ‘[email protected]
Subject: Please call me
I’m very much interested in writing about your facility.



Cindy
__________________________
Cindy Rodríguez
Metro Columnist

The Denver Post
1560 Broadway
Denver, CO 80202
303-820-1211
[email protected]

Toll free: 1-800-DEN-POST, Ext. 1211
www.denverpost.com/columnists

We’re very interested in reading your writing. Freak out and have fun! Just don’t hurt yourself now.


From: t.c. [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 9-Dec-03 19:55
To: [email protected]
Subject: Yes!
Best hoax page since http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ !



Good job, guys!

We feel loved.



From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 11-Dec-03 10:16
To: [email protected]
Subject: Bowling
Have you fine people considered opening a bowling alley on the property to enhance the “real feel” of the players experience.  It would allow the trench coat team the chance to relax and bowl before killing and destroying.  Just like real life.
Seriously though, your website has been a real eye opening experience for me.  I didn’t realize how many ignorant, unquestioning jackasses really believe anything that you throw at them.  Sure, it’s one thing if people can’t pull their heads out of their asses far enough to realize that the government is lying, but I can’t believe the amount of letters you have recieved from serious paintball advocates threatening to try to shut you down.  These people are fucking morons.
If in fact you are Canadian, can you help me become a citizen? I tire of being an associated with Americans as they represent us throughout the world.
Well that’s all.
We’ll take not of your suggestion for the bowling alley, that should be great! Well, these people are quite amazing, but they want the violence and we feed it to them and they love it so we’re living up the American Dream and making cash like crazy off them.


From: mark e [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 10:19
To: [email protected]
Subject: You pussies
You say you want to let people experience what it felt like to be there, why dont you come on down to Littleton and let us show you how it felt to be there.  Maybe you are curious to know how it felt to have a gun held to your head and asked t he question “do you believe in God?” right before being shot.  Come on down you fuck, come on down here and let us show you the experience firsthand.  You have no fucking clue.
Do you believe in God?
We WERE there to study the event to recreate it. Maybe it’s your turn to come up on our turf and fight it out by paintball, we’ll show you who’s god you pussy.


From: Josh Paris [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 12:21
To: [email protected]
Subject: From Josh
Hey guys . . . definitely interested. Your website says to call in advance, but who do I call and where do I send the money?



Later,

Josh

Send the money to the address listed on the web site. Our phone number is not diffused anymore, we had too many calls it was overwhelming!


From: Josh Paris [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 12:28
To: [email protected]
Subject: From Josh
Sorry guys, forgot to include my contact #. Number is (310)809-1782. LA number. Cell phone . . .give me a call. Let me know the specifics. Thanks,



Josh

Dude! Just come! We’ll manage even though it’s so crazy over here!


From: Sheldon, Richard (RBSheldon) [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 12:39
To:[email protected]
Subject:
I’ve seen millions of web pages in my time, but your little shout for attention here is top 10 in terms of being pathetic.  The fact you hide behind it however, quickly propels you to #1.  Congratulations loser.  If you’re going to put something like this out there, come out of hiding and own up to it.
[insert your worthless drivel of a response here]
Holy shit dude! You’ve seen millions of web pages? You must be one tired internet addict and should seek some psychiatric help. We’d like to have the list of the 9 other top 10 pathetic web pages. You plea for attention makes you our #1 loser, loser. Stop living on the internet and start living in the real world.


From: Les [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 12:49
To: [email protected]
Subject: WebPage
Saw a story about your webpage linked on
www.obscurestore.com
Some people just don’t get it.
They are not paintball fans.


Article Published: Friday, December 12, 2003
Columbine spoof online way out of line
By Cindy Rodriguez [[email protected]]
Denver Post Columnist



If Congress ever figures out a way to can spam so that we don’t have to perpetually hit the delete button, I’d like to suggest another Internet-related restriction:

That people be accountable for the garbage they put up on the Web.

I’m not talking about porn, or e-mail-order brides sites. It’s not my thing, but as long as children aren’t involved, adults should be able to look at all the porn they want.

I’m talking about the gratuitously vile columbinepaintball.com site.

After I looked at it, I was so disgusted I wanted to talk to the person who maintains the site.

But I couldn’t get at him or her or them. That’s because in cyberspace, those people are phantoms.

Columbine Paintball purports itself to be an indoor paint-ball facility in Cheyenne that is modeled after Columbine High School.

The entertainment center’s slogan is “re-live the experience.”

It says that, for $50, you get to spend the day as a member of the “Trench Coat Mafia,” the SWAT team or as an “innocent student.”

The site shows a layout of the high school that’s supposedly been replicated.

But the site is a hoax.

The domain name is registered to the bogus God Bless U.S.A. Violence Culture. The group lists an address of 8900 E. Pershing Blvd. in Cheyenne. Directory assistance shows no listing in Cheyenne for Columbine Paintball or God Bless U.S.A. Violence Culture. Likewise, no business or residential phone number is registered to the Cheyenne address.

I called The Associated Press office in Cheyenne this week and told reporter Bob Moen about the website. He drove over, called me from his cellphone, and reported what he found.

There’s no house or building with that address, in a rural part of the state outside the city line. There was just a fence post and wire where 8900 should be.

It’s a relief that no such place exists.

The people who concocted the site apparently think the website is funny, or as one “Team Paint” member described it on a related site: It’s a “lame-(expletive) joke site.”

Using that logic, I could create a website pretending I have a target-shooting business with cutout targets that resemble naked, rail-thin Jews as part of a re-enactment of the Holocaust.

Or I could dream up a re-enactment of a slave ship heading to America. For only $25 you can enter this makeshift vessel and feel what it’s like to get whipped and beaten while chained and unable to defend yourself.

Those responsible for putting up the site say they did so to prove that Americans are gullible. They seem to get a kick out of berating people on their website.

This paragraph, taken from www.columbinepaintball.com/scams/mail , speaks to their twisted thinking:

“Columbine Paintball is not an actual paintball facility, nor is there any monetary profits related to Columbine Paintball, as too many people seem to believe.

“However, the ignorant mail people have sent us is pathetic, and demonstrates very clearly how much of the American people is uneducated, ignorant, illiterate, are mindless unoriginal zombie clones that will believe anything. …”

Doesn’t it make you want to slap this person?

Apparently, many people believe the facility exists. A trail of e-mails can be found at another link, with people pleading for the company to shut down.

Why shouldn’t they believe? The site owner must have spent hours making it look like a real advertisement for this horrible-sounding place.

I’m not trying to take away this idiot’s First Amendment rights to put up that hurtful site, but I’d like a little accountability.

Anywhere else in this country, if someone opens a business, puts up a billboard or publishes a magazine that people find offensive, there’s some recourse. You can protest outside. You can call your local lawmakers. You can write the owners a letter.

But these people hide in the anonymous world of cyberspace.

If they had to reveal their identity, they’d never post such things. They know it, cowards that they are.

They say on the related “scam e-mail” site that they intended their website to be a private page. Originally the site claimed Columbine Paintball was in Manitoba. They say when they started getting letters of complaint they put up a disclaimer saying the facility doesn’t exist. That was in 2001.

But now there’s a new site, which says they’ve moved to Wyoming. You have to root around to find the disclaimer. Meanwhile, e-mails are boomeranging across the Internet, telling people about this hideous site. Several people in my newsroom got e-mails about it, so it’s not as if it’s a secret.

As I said, I’m no computer hacker. But if I knew how, I’d make this “lame-(expletive) joke site” disappear. But I’d rather have some way of contacting them so I can give these people a verbal spanking.


Ok people, here is a prime example of how stupid are your press people that feed you your daily propaganda. If you can find anything meaningful in this article, you are very astute or simply another clone sheep repeating whatever you hear. Let’s take a look at this article and break it down.



That people be accountable for the garbage they put up on the Web.” So Cindy, what you are saying is that you should be accountable for your garbage column that serves no useful purpose for the people, while posing as a Denver Post columnist.

“After I looked at it, I was so disgusted I wanted to talk to the person who maintains the site. But I couldn’t get at him or her or them. That’s because in cyberspace, those people are phantoms.” Cindy, I think that you are frustrated because someone has outwitted you, which is not a difficult feat, the proof being that we have done it without even trying. In fact you went forward on your own effort and proved to the world how brain dead you were by writing such a piece of trash on the web for everyone to read.There should be laws against columnists publish such fast food trash as your tantrum ramblings. People behind Columbine Paintball were perfectly reachable by email, which you have done with the following correspondence that we have received:

—–Original Message—–
From: Rodriguez, Cindy [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 9-Dec-03 15:07
To: ‘[email protected]
Subject: Please call me
I’m very much interested in writing about your facility.

Cindy
__________________________
Cindy Rodríguez
Metro Columnist

The Denver Post
1560 Broadway
Denver, CO 80202
303-820-1211
[email protected]

Toll free: 1-800-DEN-POST, Ext. 1211
www.denverpost.com/columnists

We are not phantoms Cindy. In this case we CHOSE not to correspond with you, but that somehow does not make Cindy happy that people have a choice over their actions. Apparently you want to spank us VERBALLY since you can’t really cut it by doing it in writing, although you are supposed news outlet columnist. Cindy is also a hypocrite since she sends us this mail simply stating that she was interested in writing about our facility, with a “please call me” in the subject of her correspondence. This was simply a trap to get us on the phone so she could “verbally spank us” as she has written in her column. We chose not to talk to you because unlike a certain Denver Post columnist, we can detect fakes when we see them.

We laugh at Cindy’s poor brain power that did not make her realize that she did not have to disturb poor Bob Moen to check out physically the address to know it was fake. It’s not Cindy’s fault that she’s an idiot. Proper analysis on Cindy’s part would have prevented her from wasting useless research. If Cindy had half a brain she would have understood that it was fake on first glance, just as many people have discovered on their own brain power. We don’t blame Cindy, she just proves that her intelligence is not above any other average American that believes the Columbine Paintball facility is real, even with the hints right in their face. By the way Cindy, “cellphone” is not a word and a columnist should write better English.

“The people who concocted the site apparently think the website is funny, or as one “Team Paint” member described it on a related site: It’s a “lame-(expletive) joke site.”” A lot of people think it’s funny, not just us. It was written “lame-ass”, not “lame-(expletive)”. Cindy shows that she performs censorship on free speech by misquoting statements made by other people.

“Using that logic, I could create a website pretending I have a target-shooting business with cutout targets that resemble naked, rail-thin Jews as part of a re-enactment of the Holocaust.” Of course you can Cindy, but it’s not logic, it’s a basic Constitutional right for you to be able to do so. It is the law for you to be able to do it. This is where Cindy has proven to be brainwashed by the Zionists just as much as the rest of the American sheeple. If you read the mail received at Columbine Paintball you can notice that many people have suggested a site that would make fun of 9/11 or the Holocaust. This is a result of media conditioning of how Americans think, and it is in itself a mind control tool. Cindy has also proven that she thinks just like the rest of the brainwashed Americans, suggesting the exact same comments that have been suggested many times over in the Columbine Paintball mail. Cindy has proven that she is a sheep clone unable to foray into any original thoughts of her own that would make her stand out of the mindless zombie crowd. “Holocaust! Holocaust!” Why the supposed Holocaust? Why does this always come up although this was not a national tragedy on US soil? Why always come up with a tragedy that does not stand up to the magnitude of the Russians holocaust of World War 2? The Zionists have used the Holocaust as a propaganda tool to gain sympathy for the Jews while themselves funding this event. The Zionists have pushed this event over and over in the media and have conditioned the people to always have this event remembered with exaggerated numbers that are impossible and don’t make sense. Poor Cindy.

“Those responsible for putting up the site say they did so to prove that Americans are gullible. They seem to get a kick out of berating people on their website” We did not say that we did it to prove that Americans are gullible. The site was a joke, then Americans started to prove to us on their that they were gullible even though the site was an outright obvious joke, just as Cindy has proven to us that she was gullible as well. As a supposed columnist, Cindy should not put words in other people’s mouths. Bad Cindy. We DO get a kick out of you but your efforts to make us laugh are greatly effective and appreciated by Columbine Paintball readers.

“”However, the ignorant mail people have sent us is pathetic, and demonstrates very clearly how much of the American people is uneducated, ignorant, illiterate, are mindless unoriginal zombie clones that will believe anything. …” Doesn’t it make you want to slap this person?” Cindy proves to the world exactly what we have written by not seeing the obvious joke, and she wants to slap US for her shortcomings. Cindy, slap YOURSELF for being so dumb and gullible.

“Why shouldn’t they believe? The site owner must have spent hours making it look like a real advertisement for this horrible-sounding place.” Columbine Paintball was created over an evening and people believed it was real although the presentation was not professional looking by any means for any respectable business, which added to the obviousness of the joke. However the main site has been revamped with some design by a great fan of the site and we thank this person.

“I’m not trying to take away this idiot’s First Amendment rights to put up that hurtful site, but I’d like a little accountability. Anywhere else in this country, if someone opens a business, puts up a billboard or publishes a magazine that people find offensive, there’s some recourse. You can protest outside. You can call your local lawmakers. You can write the owners a letter. But these people hide in the anonymous world of cyberspace. If they had to reveal their identity, they’d never post such things. They know it, cowards that they are.” “Hurtful” is an opinion not shared by everybody since many people think it is funny. In theory you CAN protest outside, but the government is cracking down on protests, so much for THAT liberty. Welcome to the Police State of America Cindy. You HAVE written us a letter and we have received it. We are not cowards Cindy, we are simply a bit more intelligent than you are and we know how to protect ourselves from the raving idiots such as yourself that take themselves too seriously to be able to take a joke.

“As I said, I’m no computer hacker. But if I knew how, I’d make this “lame-(expletive) joke site” disappear. But I’d rather have some way of contacting them so I can give these people a verbal spanking.” With your numb wits, we know there is no way you can be a computer hacker, Cindy. Cindy says that she supports free speech rights, yet would willfully engage in breaching these rights to prevent that same free speech. Cindy shows once again the fantastic integrity of journalistic representation. Way to go Cindy, you’ve proven yourself to be just another regular asshole with nothing good to say to the good people of the net. We suggest you give yourself your own verbal spanking for showing us your two-faced fucktardedness that just serves no useful purpose in an online news outlet.


From: Robert Walton [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 13:18
To: [email protected]
Subject: Fantastic
I heard about this site from a soccer-mom Denver Post columnist (way to get free press).



This site makes a great comment on shooting games like paintball or even video games like counter-strike and rainbow six. We sort of  distance ourselves from the act we’re mimicking when we play these games, but lurking in the background is the fact that we’re practicing our skill at killing people with guns. Whether you intended to or not (I’m not 100% sure), your site confronts us with the unpleasant, real-life counterpart of our games. I guess some people can’t handle it.

Keep on keepin’ on.

Bob

Still better to get your frustrations out in a game than to get them out on real people and hurt them.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 13:53
To: [email protected]
Subject: your mail page.



I cam across your site and wanted to comment on how poorly you’re handling your business if you want it to continue to grow.

Acting out actual scenarios is a clever idea. Perhaps it’s too soon for many, but if you showed some compassion (ie donate ‘x’ percentage of sales from those who were affected or donate in their name to a charity) Start with that, and I could see CNN doing a special on your “controvesial business” but how it actually raises awareness and helps the community. Then…watch the money pour in from the coverage you’d get.

Perhaps also open each scenario with a moment of silence in memory of the event and stress the horrors of the actual tradgedy. Doing this, I’m fairly certain you could get some really good publicity, and the charitable donation would be a tax benefit to you.

If I were seeking your services, but first came across your “mail” page there is no way on earth I would want you guys getting my money simply because of the zero professionalism you’re so willing to publicly show.

It’s very clear you’re a young group, because no one of any real degree of maturity would knowingly publish that on what is essentially a BUSINESS website.

You even manage to offend people that may be potential clients which is a VERY bad business practice.

In response to a female’s comment you posted:

“ummmm if you are real, you suck. If you suck I want you on my cock. “

So, yes, you’ve managed to “flame back” at that girl, but in the process you’ve shown that you have no problem degrading women by indicating they should give you sexual pleasure because they are female. If I were female and was about to contact you and wanted to play, I would stop because of that comment alone.

Another retort of yours:

“Americans make up most of our customers, those sick fucks.”

Wow. Excellent business plan to directly insult your entire target market. You opted not to comment on that person alone, but rather make a huge general sweeping comment on your own customers. Again, this only reflects how young and inexperienced you are when it relates to effective professional communication. This would tell me that if you’re so inexperienced in dealing with the public, you couldn’t possibly be experienced enough to organize a group event.

Think of it this way, if I owned a company (which I do actually) and wanted to take my whole staff for an outting. A staff paintball and picnic day (which I know there are a lot of)

So, let’s I want to book a group of 20 people…but then I see your mail page. What happens if one of my 20 folks says something that you disagree with? Are you going to tell them to fuck off, or call them a dumb American?

Well, I don’t want to risk you insulting one of my staff…so I’m going to book elswhere.

I hope you’re seeing my point. What possible good could it serve your business to actually post your childish remarks on display for the public?

You’re going about this all the wrong way. You may be “raking in the cash” but it will not last with your current business practice. I can guarantee you that.

Oh and coming out and actually openly admitting you’re “raking in the cash” also tells me you charge too much for your services…another poor business practice. How much money you make is no one’s business.

I would do some serious growing up. Or consider hiring someone more mature to handle PR and customer contact.

Cheers.

You bring forward some nice ideas, especially the one about giving to a charity.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 14:19
To: [email protected]
Subject: Nicely Done
You might want to add some paint splatter to the walls to make it more realistic.  I can’t believe people don’t get the point of the site.  Love the flame-mail!  Well done.
Thank you!


From: tim jordan [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 15:14
To: [email protected]
Subject: Great Parody
Found you via http://harrylime.biz as the ”Tasteless Site-of-the-day, Laugh-O-Rama”
People love us!


From: Chase Barlet [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 16:16
To: [email protected]
Subject: What is your excuse?
What is wrong with you sick twisted morons?! I happened to lose a close friend in the attack, so what should I come and live their experience? Can we kill you and make a re-creation of it? If you had ANY clue what happened that day you would NEVER have done this. You have NO clue! Proud of a 9/11 recreation? I’m sure the 3000+ who died families would just LOVE that. I don’t care where you are and what sick twisted schemes you have next. And as a side note, the Denver Post does rave. Rave about how twist, sick, and devilish you idiots are. And about your fake address, you’re telling me you offer people the game at the little fence post where your “address” claims you are?? I don’t hope someone kills you, they won’t need to, you’re too sick and disgusting for anyone but the Devil to care. He’s got full control of you, or you’re just some sick twisted loser who finds this funny. And one last thing? If you had a kid who went through this or you did, would you think it “pleasant” to relive the experience. You either are completely over taken by the Devil or you need to GROW UP! Make a lousy excuse, no one cares………except you and the Devil.
You seem to like the Devil so much that YOU are probably the one in league with him, wanting to destroy our American Dream.


From: Sevale Shadowraven [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 18:11
To: [email protected]
Subject: ROFLMAO
This is an awesome idea. They should add something like this to MOSI or Disney.
We’ll try to approach them with the idea.


From: j b [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 12-Dec-03 21:50
To: [email protected]
Subject: from a very satisfied customer
I really enjoyed my experince at your paintball fun park. My church group quite enjoyed reliving the excitment that the actors in gods great play must have experienced when the real columbine happened. All thing that happen in this universe only happen because it is Jesus’s will. Columbine is no exception. It takes true Christians like yourselves to understand this. Thank you for not bowing down to the Satanic mass media, nor the anti-christian court of popular opinion.



One addition to your park I might suggest:The holocoasters. A rollercoaster that rolls from the Ghettos of 30’s germany, through the prison camp of Dachau, and strait into a oven stoked with the wood of the rightous crucifix. It would be fun and enlightening.

Thank you columbinepaintball.com

We are simply fulfilling Jesus’ will.


From: Vox Hosting [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 04:38
To: [email protected]
Subject: You honestly are pathetic
Cocksucker
Come down here and prove to us you really are a cocksucker


From: mr kommie [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 06:27
To: [email protected]
Subject: columbine paintball
I just want to say that your idea was so insensitive and genious. I love it! I swear part of me wanted this to be real. You sir, are a god amongst men.
Thank you.
We try.


From: Hiram hiram [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 12:37
To: [email protected]
Subject: Booking evening
A group of friends and I were interested in booking a day at your faciltity.  The question arose if it was possible to obtain some genuine Columbine students to participate.  While we would prefer they would reinact their cowering student roles, if they prefer to play another role we would allow that.  It seems to have the real students with the real look of terror would be much better than having friends/family in that role.
Also your upcoming 9/11 facility sounds wonderful!  In the same vein will jumping from the building be allowed?  Any geninune 9/11 survivors available?
Hiram
All your wishes can come true.


from: Reverend Brian DiBonaventure [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 13:47
To: [email protected]
Subject: Colombine joke page



Man, I got all the way to the email section and THEN realized this was a joke….you sons of bitches, I had a group of about 20 ready to come over and do this!!!

Whenever you get the funding to actually build this let me know, we’re all about this shit.

Oh and to all the people telling you to go to hell, get a life, take a joke, and tell your kids to stop picking on the “loser kids”.

–B


From: Bryan Lambrecht [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 18:01
To: [email protected]
Subject: FUCK YOUR MOMS, FUCK PAINTBALLING, AND MOST OF ALL, FUCK YOU



I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE TRYING TO BE FUNNY OR WHAT, BUT THAT SHIT IS FUCKED UP. I HOPE SOMEBODY COMES AND FUCKING BLOWS YOUR BRAINS OUT, YOU SICK PATHETIC FUCKS. THERE ARE A LOT OF WAYS TO BE FUNNY, AND MAKING FUN OF COLUMBINE ISN’T ONE OF THEM, I LIVE IN COLORADO AND THAT COLUMBINE SHIT AFFECTED ME AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE, SO YOU NEED TO GET YOUR COCKS OUT OF EACH OTHERS ASSES AND GROW UP, I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THIS PAINTBALL THING EXISTS, BUT IF IT DOES, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR PANSY ASS MOTHERS, AND FUCK YOUR COLD BLACK HEARTS, I READ ABOUT YOUR SHIT HOLE ESTABLISHMENT IN THE DENVER POST, I ABOUT GOT SICK, FUCK YOU GUYS I HOPE YOU DIE REALLY SOON, AND I HOPE IT IS A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH, YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC.

UNK13

WRITE ME BACK

You’re just jealous that our cocks are in each others asses and not in yours.


From: Jip [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 18:25
To: [email protected]
Subject: site comment
The shock value of your site does not work anymore…ppl who browse the internet are used to sites like this they are all old hat….I would like to see something a bit more original but you clearly have not the intelligence..oh! well ….
According to our mails, people still are shocked by it and they are in fact NOT used to it.


From: jhpattinson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 18:37
To: [email protected]
Subject: Columbine, American “ignorance”, violence, web design and strawberry shortcake.
Hi,
I found your site via cruel.com.  I have a soft spot for “sick humor”, but your site is just an un-funny waste of space.
It isn’t un-funny because it mocks a tragedy — gobs of humor can be found in tragic situations.  Your site is simply un-funny.  It is an unoriginal, cheap, lazy attempt at satire.  It has one punch line, which you beat to death.  It is the kind of “humor” that only appeals to the lowest common denominator.  I guarantee that the so-called “idiots” who fell for it are not terribly far off from the people who congratulated you on your HIGH-larious HIGH-jinks* and antics…and we all know how hard it is to reach the lowest common denominator.  Yay, you!  Way to go!  You make it look so easy!
Secondly, you fail to realize that most people will look at your site, realize it is a spoof and move on.  The odds are fairly slim that someone is going to send you an e-mail just to say, “Hi.  I saw your site, realized it was a spoof, and moved on.”  Of *course* you are going to get hate mail from gullible people.  They do exist…but they don’t represent the majority.  If you believe that, then *you* are the gullible one.
And, um, nice web design, btw.  *snicker*
Lastly, buck up, little camper.  Why all the hate?  Lookee here, sport…things aren’t THAT bad.  Honestly, if people like you spent more time focusing on peaceful, positve change…and less time frothing at the mouth and shaking your fists at the sky via useless websites…well…just think of what a world it could be. Wheeee!
Happy nappies,
Jane
*Intentional misspelling, in case the sarcasm escapes you…and by the way, nothing screams “weak argument” like ripping apart a person’s spelling.  At the very least, if one must resort to doing so, one should be absolutely certain one isn’t living in a glass house….
Aside from their lame brains, misspelling is just a bonus for us to laugh at them.


From: Casey, Timothy [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 18:54
To: [email protected]
Subject: Real Bullets
Dude this rocks. just let me know when you start using real bullets.  We can use Democrats to play the student parts and probably get a government subsidy to help thin the population of weaklings.
That happens in our non-publicized arena.


From: Flycast [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 17:58
To: [email protected]
Subject: Is your site a hoax??
I was just told your paintball columbine site was a hoax? Can you verify if this is real??
We have verified. We think the answer is obvious.


From: Flycast [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 18:03
To: [email protected]
Subject: Call me to verify if its a hoax or not.
Call me at 1-(250) 635-6280 in British Columbia Canada  to tell me if this is a real or not. Everyone here thinks it is and i really think it is. This real dickwad friend i have on a fishing board says its a hoax and if i can actually give him proof that it ISNT a hoax, then i will be lord master ruler and slam him to the ground for the first time in a month..
Thanks guys!
Come read the mail section!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 13-Dec-03 21:49
To: [email protected]
Subject: looks like fun
you guys are sick puppies profiting on this stuff
karma is a bitch
Don’t tell her to come play with us, we don’t like bitches.


From: Maria Bonacelli [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Dec-03 00:48
To: [email protected]
Subject:
You’re a bunch of sick fucks.
I assure you, we really are healthy.


From: Steveomedic S. [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Dec-03 03:32
To: [email protected]
Subject: Liked it.
Just a moment of your time to tell you that I think your site is as funny as hell. I use to work as a cop, but decided that being a paramedic was better for the mind. Along the way, I got the joke when it comes to parody and life. I realize there are people who are hurt by your web site, but they just don’t get it.
So with that said, thanks for giving me a moment of reflective laughter.



Steveomedic

Bye 
We are pleased as well.


From: Cory MacDonald [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Dec-03 13:04
To: [email protected]
Subject: your site
Just saw your website on Cruel Site of the Day.  Then read the Flame Mail page. Can’t believe how many people believe this paintball facility actually exists. No end to the gullible. Anyway, your joke is tasteless and extremely insensitive. Bu t I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Hopefully you’ll be ashamed later in life at some point. Or maybe someday someone will do something horrific to your daughter and grand daughter and some punk brats can get their jollies making fun of her memory. Whee! fun for all! (yes, I know you THINK you are just making fun of the gullible people who believe in the facility.)
Well… actually we are just making fun of the gullible. They are the ones who believe all the government lies and are leading us into the Prison Planet. We think some retialiation towards these retards is in order.


From: Mr. Edward Green [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Dec-03 20:30
To: [email protected]
Subject: CAPTIALISM AT IT’S WORSE
In your organization’s opinion, is there anything more sacred than earning money?
The New World Order wants to enslave the world for profits, so why not? Oh, and we consider safety is much more important than money.


From: Brenna Weiner [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Dec-03 22:32
To: [email protected]
Subject:
I love this… I love it a lot.. whoever is responsible for this.. would you like to get married??
Come to our facility, lots of guys there.


From: Steve [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 14-Dec-03 23:20
To: [email protected]
Subject: columbine paintball
Wow. Sorry to hear you guys moved from Canada. It would suck to go all the way down to Wyoming. but oh well.
Do you guys have airsoft games there? Or just paintball? Consider airsoft…
I don’t know weather this site is real or not, but I sincerely wish it was. It would be awsome to play there. And I absolutely love the 9/11 recreation idea…I bought an authentic Iranian army turban at a surplus store and I would love to wear that in a game…BYOB right? Bring your own boxcutter?
Anyways, good site.
We will take your ideas into consideration.


From: Joseph B. [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 04:44
To: [email protected]
Subject: trade links with me?



Would you be interested in trading links with my site? I get about 30,000 unique visitors a day. If you are interested, all I need from you use the site name, url, and description you want to use on my site. I’ll then send you a unique url to link back me. :-)

http://www.collegesucks.com

Thanks,
Joe.

PS. No popups will appear on link trades. We turn them off when people enter our site from yours.

We’ll give you this space at least.  :)


From: Gerrit de Graaf [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 06:27
To: [email protected]
Subject: site



Is there a special price for schoolclasses? :-)

Absolutely! Come on over!


From: jason eariss [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 06:46
To: [email protected]
Subject: columbine
you sick mother fuckers!!
jason eariss [email protected]
Our doctor exams prove otherwise.


From: Barnaby Girling [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 11:14
To: [email protected]
Subject: A little British Common Sense



You fuckwits. no, not you the people running this site (which is wonderful) you the people writing to complain! anyone DUMB ENOUGH to think this place exists deserves a lump of lead in their skull – why don’t you dickhead yanks level your critism at your prick of president who’s busy killing people for real…..

We concur.


From: Lorie Schink [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 11:20
To: [email protected]
Subject: Pathetic little mind
We are sorry you have a pathetic little mind.


From: Michael Gomez [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 12:53
To: [email protected]
Subject:
Is this for real?
Are YOU for real?


From: sean donnell [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 13:11
To: [email protected]
Subject: anyone who writes in to bitch



This is for all of you, well, those of you that got this far, that didnt just look at the title page and mail your complaint and leave… Have any of you ever played a video game? A war game perhaps? How about the classic board game Risk? No? None of you have ever played any games before? Oh, one in the back, thank you sir, brave man, you played MOH: Rising Sun?… You’re Fucking Sick Sir! Do you know how many people died at Pearl Harbor? How dare you?! You’re Going to Hell Sir! Im Disgusted!
Otherwise, love the site.. Merry Christmas !

We love the site also. Merry Christmas to you too sir.


From: Bruce Galler/Wilsona School District [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 18:44
To: [email protected]
Subject: what point are you trying to make?

This is obviously a site that is trying to make a political or satirical statement, but it still boggles my mind what you are trying to say with something so totally out there.  Also, are you at all concerned about the families who are offended?

Bruce G

Of course we are concerned and we are not forcing them to play.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 19:00
To: [email protected]
Subject: Paintballing Image



Hello,

My name is Tony, and i’ve been paintballing for a good 3 years now. I’d just like to let you know that you guys are idiots, way to disrespect those whom died, or were shot, or who was scarred for life.

Its scum like you folks who make Americans look bad.

We thought that people shooting up people in schools made Americans look bad.


From: Robert Hankins [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 21:27
To: [email protected]
Subject: Cheyenne



At last someone’s doing something that makes me proud I was born in Cheyenne!

We are happy that we can make you proud.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 15-Dec-03 23:40
To: [email protected]
Subject: this is stupid

I would just like you to know that you are messed up seriously…to think that you are cute and funny about this…I agree with the newspaper. It was such a tragic experience for many people and  the thought of you all “re-creating” it is very messed up and seriously disturbing.

Well, if you want to be a loser and not profit by your life experiences, that’s your choice.


From: D Bunker [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 16-Dec-03 04:31
To: [email protected]
Subject: Isn’t making tourist money off a tragedy like Columbine a little sick?



You people are fucked up, and the people who play paintball there are even more fucked up than you are.

But we love them so much!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 16-Dec-03 10:33
To: [email protected]
Subject: sad

That’s about all I can say.  To think that you’d make money from a tragic event where countless lives were lost and misguided anger turned to bloodshed is a crime.  Sure you can say that its just like a Civil War reinactment, but that’s a completely different case.  That’s celebrating a war to where a group of colonies were fighting to establish themselves as a country.  The tragedy in Columbine dealt with two youths who felt they had no outlet or means of communicating their inner turmoil so they took it out upon their fellow students and faculty.  God rest the souls of those that were involved at Columbine, and I hope you never have to go through what the parents and families of those involved have to endure for the rest of their lives. To say that you painstakingly recreated it makes you look more pathetic.  How about painstakingly reading up on Cassie Bernall and how brave she was to say that she believed in God before her life was taken. Before you write back with your ever-so-witty sarcastic comments, joke or not, you have taken this too far.  I’m not concerned for your health, I’m definitely not concerned about your “business”, I do find it funny that you could do something like this just to get a reaction out of people and claim to have any pride whatsoever.  True pride would push you to create a site based purely on your own imagination and thought processes.  Not taking the layout of a school and building on the thoughts and emotions that fueled this event.  How about coming up with something original?  You’d challenge yourself to where you would take pride in creating something. Orson Welles would be a good role model to check up on if you’re truly into shocking the masses, and he did it without the help of an event such as the one at Columbine to feed off of.

We never thought that 13 deaths were considered “countless”. So much for your ability to count, or maybe you’re repeating a meaningless phrase that you have heard over and over in the media. Way to be distinct.


From: jmgresta [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 16-Dec-03 10:09
To: [email protected]
Subject: Is it a joke ?



Hello,

I’m french.

I’m not to understand what is the purpose of your website.

I think it’s a joke. Could you tell me.

Thanks


Jean Marc Gresta
Entrevue
10 rue thierry le luron
92592 levallois perret cedex

T / 01 41 34 88 52
F / 01 41 34 96 52

[email protected]

Pour mieux comprendre le but du site, il faut regarder et examiner le site en profondeur. À ce moment là seulement le monde pourra voir si le site est vrai ou non.


From: Art Department [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 16-Dec-03 12:56
To: [email protected]
Subject: I’m a dumbass that can’t recognize satire.

Howdy.
A little tasteless, but whatever.
I have a minor suggestion.

If you change your e-mail link to:

mailto: [email protected]?I’m a dumbass that can’t recognize satire.

then that subject line will appear automatically.

Cheers,
-e

We had “I want to know more about the Columbine Paintball joke page” but we were tired of getting the same subject over and over. We wanted people to come up with their own subjects and make their brain work a bit.


From: Meghan [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 16-Dec-03 16:54
To: [email protected]
Subject: I love you!!!
My God.. you guys are absolutely great!! My brother provided me with the link to this site proclaiming how sick it was.. I on the otherhand begged to differ. Well I didn’t really beg.. I don’t beg for much. Anyway back to my point. Had this site been real it would have been an awesome idea. People make money off horrific events all the time.. it’d be no different except probably a bit more fun. One can tell that the people writing to you ranting their shit about how fucked up you are took a quick glance at the site.. I especially enjoyed the e-mail section. People can be so damn ignorant.. some of the shit they were spewing had no fucking validity. They dont’ know anything about Eric and Dylan.. they don’t know half the story.. I don’t think I need to tell you guys this though.. you’re not dumb asses. Well I’m done ranting for the moment. You guys are great.. If you’ve got any other sites like this I’d be interested in checking them out.
We love you too! We suggest:   www.bonsaikitten.com


From: Geoff . [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 17-Dec-03 00:29
To: [email protected]
Subject: there are no laws against it…



..So why don’t you go for it? I think it’s a great idea. So long as there are video games desgined by the Department of Defense/DARPA which are simulations of infantry combat in warzones that have and will continue to exist, this is like a cartoon in comparison. Paintballing already mimics and copies itself after wartime activities, only with less of a theme (I could be wrong, considering I’ve never done it, but I bet there are the occasional role playing types who don a red uniform against the Free World Captain America types in red, white, blue and camo). The biggest problem with this would be the risk of getting shot and killed by some reactionary bleeding hearts with nothing better to do than play Judge. Otherwise, a terrific idea (wish I’d thought about this one!).

We pity the people who nave experienced paintball.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 17-Dec-03 15:00
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
hey, id like to know more about this…sounds interesting…
not kididng either…
send me some prices and availibility.
also, is it in full scale?..
can I bring a team?
can I reserve it for the day?
We can do everything you want.


From: FOX 5 NEWS [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 17-Dec-03 17:00
To: [email protected]
Subject: PLEASE CONTACT ME
HELLO, MY NAME IS STEVE LINDEN, MANAGING EDITOR AT WNYW-TV FOX 5 NEWS HERE IN NYC.  A VIEWER CALLED US ABOUT YOUR WEBSITE.  I WOULD LIKE TO DO A NEWS STORY ABOUT YOUR PROGRAM.  PLEASE CALL ME AT 212 452-5501 OR GIVE ME A NUMBER WHERE I CAN CONTACT YOU.  THANKS AGAIN
Nice fake. We seriously doubt that a managing editor would write a complete message in CAPS lock, but then it again if it’s Fox News it would not be surprising. We suspect a managing editor would at least have a signature with contact information. We suspect also that a managing editor would also have his own email address and would not have to use a general “[email protected]” mail account that is not from a Fox domain. It might also be impersonation fraud to write as someone else and we wonder how Fox 5 News would feel if anyone forwarded your message to them, and we encourage everyone to do so.


From: Railboy [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 18-Dec-03 01:04
To: [email protected]
Subject: Is this for real?



This has got to be a joke, right? Are you registered anywhere? Is there someplace online where I can verify that you exist and that you really do offer the services you claim to offer?

– R

Just come and play with us!


From: Paul Brierley [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 18-Dec-03 06:23
To: ‘[email protected]
Subject: And then you wonder …



….why your country is up shit creek!

You are right, USA is not going to last very long as it is now.


From: Moore, Greg [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 18-Dec-03 14:22
To: ‘[email protected]
Cc: Chavez, Jeanette [mailto:[email protected]]
Subject: your website



I am aware that you have on your website a mention of The Denver Post. It is inaccurate and I request that you remove it immediately. Thank you very much

Greg Moore

Greg Moore
Editor
The Denver Post
1560 Broadway
Denver, CO 80202
[email protected]
(303) 820-1400 direct
(303) 820-1090 fax

We think Greg is referring to our main page that mentions: “The Denver Post raves about Columbine Paintball! Thank you for your warm praise!”. However, we think that our statement is in fact accurate and we will explain why. The word “rave” can be used to talk good or bad of something. You can look it up in a dictionary; we did. Since Denver Post seems to talk bad of Columbine Paintball in an entire worthless column, it is raving and the statement is in fact accurate. People writing in to us seem to think that Denver Post raves also if you read a previous message dated 12Dec2003. As for the warm praise, it just takes up all its sense when you consider it to be in a sarcastic context, and then it complements the statement about raving. We are sorry, but the statement is indeed accurate and therefore no need to remove it. Even if it was inaccurate people can just publish whatever they want.


From: Thomas Columbus [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 18-Dec-03 22:22
To: [email protected]
Subject: die
Cheap knock off of the hunting for bambi in Navada, or whatever it was. This one just is not very funny. Please do us all a favor and kill yourself.
We have been online since May 2001 and we doubt that Hunting for Bambi even existed before us. If anyone is the rip-off, it is Hunting for Bambi. Then again, we do not understand the relation between the two sites since they are a business for two different things.


From: myles gorham [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 19-Dec-03 01:18
To: [email protected]
Subject:
You guys are truly brilliant human beings.  I’m curious what you have accomplished in your lives thus far…if this little joke ranks among the top of your accomplishments, then perhaps you should re-evaluate why you are on this planet.  You have indeed proven that many people jump to conclusions far too quickly without giving any real thought.  Doesn’t take a genius to do that.
Perhaps there is some social commentary here that is alluding me…I don’t think so.  Even if this is the case, is it worth irritating thousands of people and hurting families because you think you have a rare insight into life that the rest of us do not have?
I read some of your responses to the emails sent to you.  I think it is safe to say that you are at least of average intelligence.  However, whatever your age, you are incredibly immature.  Sadly, I assume you are at least high age which makes this all the more pathetic.  What else could you be doing with your time to benefit this world and make it a better place?  It seems you spend much of your time replying to emails from well-meaning people and insulting them because they spell a word incorrectly.
When you leave this earth, what are you going to leave behind?  Do you want to be remembered as the loser with the immature joke page?  Go do something with your life.
We can’t really take the credit for proving that people are quick to judge and jump to conclusions to fast, they have done that by themselves with their mail ramblings. There IS in fact something that you have missed on the site and we suggest you take a deeper look. We see that you have used the spelling corrector, which must be a first in our mails received. We ARE doing something constructive with our lives, but people DO to jump to conclusions pretty quickly.


From: Brandon Leaf [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 19-Dec-03 03:22
To: [email protected]
Subject: Nicely done
Hello, guys.
I just wanted to say that you have a fabulous idea there.  Not only would it serve as a kickass paintball field, but it reveals the intelligence of the average American.  Everyone whos argument is “OMG!!!!11one INOCENT PEOPEL DEID THEIR” or a derivitive of such demonstrates the hypocricy of the general public.  How many WWII games are there on the market? Millions died in that war, but people have no argument when kids play games depicting it.  Not only are virtual games in existance of the sort, but the paintball field I frequent does an annual game based on WWII, with a Nazi flag and everything.  Considering all these facts, it is evident that the general public has no perspective of anything be yond the narrow scope of their initial reaction to any given topic.
In conclusion:   Anyone who is offended by this briliant idea should formulate an intelligent argument on their stance.
I would be proud to play on your field anyday.
We look forward to playing with you.


From: Dan K Pedersen [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 19-Dec-03 13:14
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)



You are a bunch off sick fucks…Making fun off a tragedy like this. You fuckers are destroying the sport off paintball with this. If its even real.

We are not making fun, we are commemorating the event.


From: Greg McClendon [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 19-Dec-03 15:49
To: [email protected]
Subject: Info request



Is your website some sort of sick joke? It is getting harder and harder all the time to tell the difference between real shit and dumbass jokes. I’m serious, though. Is this shit for real?

Greg McClendon
[email protected]

Come on down and play, you’ll see if your paintball bruises are real or not!


From: Joseph Nuara [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 19-Dec-03 19:32
To: [email protected]
Subject: Comubine Paintball
You guys make me sick.  Reading your page, I came to a part where you talked about how hard a decision it was to do this, but reading on, you only said that because of all the stuff you had to move.  I am beyond sick, I hope one of you guys that came up with this takes his goggles off to de fog them and takes a paintball to the eye, right where the kids committed suicide.  SICK FUCKERS!
Joey Nuara
AZ resident
We would like some explanation about “Comubine Paintball”.


From: Neal Woodward [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 19-Dec-03 21:01
To: [email protected]
Subject: ????



You can’t be serious.

Yes we can.


From: Robin [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 20-Dec-03 10:21
To: [email protected]
Subject: Web Page
I think you should add Waco and Ruby Ridge arenas also.  It would appeal to the vast right wing audience and also those who would love to shoot them all.
If you use my idea, for which I have filed copyright and patent applications, you owe me a 10% royalty and lifetime free participation as a BATF member in those arenas.
We have so many ideas running around right now, but your idea will be considered also.


From: Tal Parsons [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: 20-Dec-03 12:04
To: [email protected]
Subject: Terrific Idea



Hi –
Although at first I was appalled at the idea of “Columbine Paintball” I now realize it is a most fitting tribute to the victims and their families. We must never forget them. To re-enact the awful tragedy will keep the events alive in our minds. I am the pastor at my church and I look forward to bringing all our children for an action-packed experience. Deep inside we all want to kill each other and you guys provide an opportunity to do so — safely. Thanks guys, keep up the great work. Merry Christmas!
Best regards,
Pastor Parsons

We guarantee that you guys will have a blast!


From: Tom Sweet [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 8:02 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: A small point



And you wonder why your country is so screwed up?
Where do you people get off exactly?

Wake up.

We’re sorry about the US being screwed up, but you guys are the ones that like our field.


From: John Hartzog [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 11:38 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Columbine Paitball
As a joke it is a sick joke. You people have a lousy, sick since of humor. I’ll bet the survivors and the loved ones of those killed are not laughing at your pathetic attempt at a joke.
We’re not asking them to laugh.


From: Chavez, Jeanette [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 1:38 PM
To: ‘[email protected]
Subject: reply expected



The following message was sent to you last week by the editor of The Denver Post. The reference to the newspaper is still there. It must be removed NOW.

Jeanette Chavez
Managing Editor
The Denver Post

I am aware that you have on your website a mention of The Denver Post. It is inaccurate and I request that you remove it immediately. Thank you very much

Greg Moore

Greg Moore
Editor
The Denver Post
1560 Broadway
Denver, CO 80202
[email protected]
(303) 820-1400 direct
(303) 820-1090 fax

http://www.columbinepaintball.com/mail/2003#yourwebsite



From: TeamPaint [mailto:teampaint]
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 3:53 PM
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: re: reply expected

Funny Mail Archive 2004

— TeamPaint
www.ColumbinePaintball.com


From: jeff coffey [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 3:55 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: DUH-I think you got hit one to many times in the head
I understand that your site is a farce.  However, it is distasteful and you are a pig.
Even an unfeeling moron would know better than to create something of this type “for entertainment purposes”.
If you want to say the media lies and is controlled by the powers that be– OK, of course that’s common knowledge, so waste your time if you want.  I hope you win the award for The Most Stupid, Moronic, Idiotic, Boring, and Distasteful use of Cyberspace — a real award.  Too bad your pea-brain wouldn’t know who to thank.
I would especially like to thank you for giving me a forum to cyber-spit at the likes of you.  You make me sick.
Have a NICE DAY.
We hope your sickness gets well soon.


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 6:17 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
i heard that columbine paintball is a hoax dont lie is it or is it not
Come down and see if the paintballs are real!


From: Kyle Columbus [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 10:51 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: yep….
i would just like to say that i am ashamed that so many morons who think this is real….


From: Roja Huchez [mailto:roja.[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 9:36 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Canadians are AWESOME!!!



pfff! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh… wait……. omg…. ok… no, wait….
holy SHIT that’s FUNNY!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!
Canadians are HILARIOUS. Hands down.

They play funny too.


From: Vidman [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 12:52 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: canuk location
Where was your facility when you guys were up here?
-=dån=-
We forget, it seems like so long ago. We were in the middle somewhere.


From: Moore, Greg [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 6:08 PM
To: ‘teampaint’
Subject: RE: reply expected



well if you look at this address we have our answer. they will not take it down. let’s make them, shall we?

Funny Mail Archive 2004

Greg

From: TeamPaint [mailto:teampaint]
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 7:03 PM
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: RE: reply expected



We have removed our front page mention of Denver Post. We feel the message has passed. We deem more important for you to concentrate on matters to help the American public rather than lower yourselves to childish games to which you seem to have no problem doing.

Please focus on helping the American public, that is your duty.

— TeamPaint
www.ColumbinePaintball.com


From: Moore, Greg [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 9:47 PM
To: ‘teampaint’
Subject: Re: reply expected



Fair enough and thank you


From: HAL [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, December 24, 2003 12:25 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Trolls



Trolls,,,,,yeah

Bring them to our arena! We want to shoot up some trolls!


From: Thomas Salvermoser [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2003 9:30 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: sounds fun



Maybe you can create a busy street in Isreal. In case someone wants to pose as a suicide bomber. Do they even have paintball suicide vest’s ?

If they make them, we want them! We can be out of character sometimes and use suicide paint vests. That would be awesome. We like the way you think on Christmas day.


From: Francisco Acosta [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2003 11:45 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: I loved your website!



I have to admit that I spent the better part of 20 mins. laughing my ass off reading you site. It was a breath of fresh air(cynical as it sounds) in a boring life. Now from here hence I will try to reason with you why this site might be inapropriate. In the same regards as where I wouldn’t say “fuck god” infront of Christian friends, you sould not make a mouckary of people who’s lives were ended or ruined at the shootings. I know that it’s all fun and games in our underground, unmainstream circle of internet junkies and forum readers, but outside of our community this is serious shit. If you were on any of the cable news channel debate shows face to face with a Columbine survivor or parent I dought you could use the all in fun defence due to the fact that for them it was not all in fun. Making fun of their tragity is fair game in our community, but now that is spills into the mainstream you should try to accknowlogde more openly that no harm was intended. (I am aware that you guys believe that it’s 100% obviously not real, but thats assuming ther audience is young internet users, not old out of touch Parents that saw the website on the nightly news)

In short (maybe a little late) now that your audience has slightly changed you guys should openly admit no harm by this site and maybe even a disclaimer at the very bottom of the site. If you don’t agree I will take great pleasure in you picking apart my logic and grammar mistakes, remrence of poor “Denver Post” Cindy.

_Frank

We would LOVE to be on the news! The more the merrier in the arena!


From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2003 6:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: E-mail



I sent you a congratulatory e-mail a few weeks back.  Unfortunately, I used my work e-mail address, and now it has been posted.  Can you please remove my e-mail address from the message?  I can provide an alternative one if you’d like.



Looking at paintball sites while at work eh? Hmmmm


From: Joshua Young [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, December 29, 2003 11:05 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject:

That’s funny, people need to lighten up.

People need to get their ass shot up at Columbine Paintball!


From: LP [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 3:47 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Insane
You give our sport a bad name.  You should be ashamed of your selves, making a game of a tragic incodent.
Please describe to us this “incodent”



Comments are closed.